Is my poem any good?

Question:

Is my poem any good?

You feel the blades under your feet.
Soft, green, lush.
Perfection.
You run your hands over the old surface,
and climb.
You climb until your heart is content,
and then your heart stops.
You feel the bark slip,
and blades of grass seem so much closer every second.
You wake up.
Sitting simply.
See?
nothing to worry about.
Lounging under a tree.
With the green blades beneath you.
You can be so silly sometimes.
There was never anything to worry about.
See?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: yes, but you should change the line 'you climb until your heart is content' because it doesn't quite scan and because it is a clumsy metaphor. 'Heart' is used as a synonym for 'emotional part of the mind' or 'soul' often, but it is only ever a metaphor. As such, when you modify it (here calling it 'content') you don't modify the nature of the thing you're talking about, but the meaning of the device you are using to refer to it with. In other words, a reader encounters this contented heart and wonders what this means. Is it beating slowly and with a sense of satisfaction? is it glad that it is pumping blood effectively? No. Something similar but more concise would work better: 'your heart floods with contentment', perhaps, if you are keen to keep the repetition of heart for the following line; or:'you climb yourself content' if you are not.

At any rate, in a poem happy to express a similar sense of contentment with the single exaltant 'perfection' earlier, that line sticks out as being awkward. Otherwise though, it's pretty good. Like it. :) aha! i love it.
=]