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Question:

My dad wont let me grow up! why????


i am 14 and my boyfriend called my cell but i acedently left it at home and my dad answered it and said i wasnt home, which i wasnt, but when i got hime he yelled at me asking why a guy was calling me, i said " because i am not a little girl anymore and i have a boyfriend" he said" well kayla i do let u grow up but u dont need to tlk to guys on the phone" and i said why and said because i said so!

why is he like that, i mean that all means i have to have an "at skewl" relationship, see if he doesnt liten up and let me tlk to him and date him i will end up sneaking out not caring anymore!! i mean i am mature and smart! i kno what not to do!!

Additional Details

20 hours ago
15 sorry my badz


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: 20 hours ago
15 sorry my badz If you were as smart and mature as you claim to be you would understand that no matter what age you are you will always be your father's girl.
Don't get me wrong, i'm not defending your dad,because his reaction to you having a boyfriend lacked maturity as well.
You're at an age where you want to begin exploring what the world has to offer, and that is often a very difficult period for parent/child relations.
The way through this period can be made less painfull by communication. You need to approach your father in a mature fashion and be open and honest about your needs and expectations. Your father in order to do his part has to listen carefully and offer the guidance (and trust) that you still need at your age. why do u need a boy friend wen ur 14??! hes just being protective yo. just show him youre responsable by coming home early and stuff.
And mean guys can be jerks and only date you to take advantage of you. Now adays thats almost every other guy.
So be careful first of all tell your mom and she will probably say that he just doesn't want to see you grow up that's all I know! good luck. Ok if your so mature and smart are you going to let this boyfriend have sex with you think about you really want a baby at 15. Your dad has his reason for one is getting pregnant two you don't need a boyfriend right now boys come and go. And three finish school. The mispellings really aren't cool, and considering your question, are ironic. I am going to try to ignore them, however, you are upset and obviously frustrated, and I really feel sympathetic.

Actually, you will grow up, whether or not anyone wants you to, even yourself; your body will mature, tick tick tick, we are all on a clock. And part of that is becoming your own person, and suffering through the stresses of disagreeing with your parents, and all the hormone stresses, and the ocassional realization that one over-reacted and is human. You have a boyfriend and had not told your Dad; he found out by accident and was surprised. Maybe he over-reacted first - maybe it's hard for either of you to talk to each other about this - but you hadn't warned him; why not? were you ashamed? was getting a boyfriend unimportant? why did you choose not to be the one to tell him?

Maybe that hurt him.

Now your last paragraph doesn't dound very mature or even sensible; having someone to talk to, and having your family know where you are, is protection for you AND your boyfriend, and is a natural desire for anyone who really cares for you. Denying yourself that safety measure, and doing it to spite your Dad, is very childish, and probably just an overstatement because you got upset too.

The mature thing to do is NOT to sneak around, but to establish real communication with your Dad. Are you capable of it?

I think you can be,

Good luck. He is scared to know that his little girl is growing up. He is just trying to protect you and he does not not how. You may be mature and smart but you are not showing it. If you get angry and start seeing him on the sly, and not care anymore you will just be showing your dad your inmaturity. A mature person always care what happens to her and others and tries to conduct herself correctly at all times. You just have to show your dad that you really are mature so he will trust you. I am sure some other users are going to comment on your spelling situation which is a bit concerning for a 14yr old. But maybe you are using short-hand so I should leave that alone.

Now about the boyfriend...You seem to be very determined to have this relationship no matter what your dad says. Your father seems to care about you..even though he is strict. Thats more than a lot of teenagers can say. Just be careful.
And brush up on the spelling....please. Your dad loves you very much and this is his way of trying to protect you from what he worries about. Don't be mad. Be glad you have a dad who loves you so very much.. My dad is dead, and I miss him so much.. Dad is not trying to be mean nor does he think you're not smart. He will give you more freedom in due time. Try to be a little more patient and love him for caring so much about you.. :-) Kay, I'm going to try to answer this question in a way that doesn't insult your age or trivialize your dilemma.

On the one hand, there's you. You're 14, you're learning how society works, and now that you're going to school, you are growing increasingly independent.

On the other hand, you've got your parents - your Dad. There was a time that you completely depended on him to survive. He had to protect you, he had to feed you, and he had to teach you. As a guy, he knows the even the most well intentioned boys are constantly thinking about sex. It's natural. It's part of who guys are. Sure, we think about other things, but young men....particularly around your age, are constantly thinking about sex.

I'm sure this scares your father. I agree with the other answerers who say that the best way to deal with this to think about your father's perspective and show him in any way you can that he has taught you well and that he can trust you. Be honest with him. Tell him how his attitude feels. If you feel trapped, tell him that.

And finally, at the risk of sounding ageist, 14 is really young to be in a "Relationship" the feelings associated with that are really intense - good intense and bad intense. Adults continue to struggle with love and the idea here is not that you're not smart enough to deal with it, it's that love can take a huge toll on a person. When you're a teen, that toll can be huge because of the fact that your body is maturing and your hormones are going haywire. When you grow older and think back to the intensity of the feelings you are having today, you will be surprised. I know I was. look let me tell you something; from when you are 12 to when you are 19, it is the most difficult time for a parent. Why? because we are trying to see what is there for us in the world, and we think we know what is best for us, but the truth is we dont, i am 14 too, so i know what are you going through. You might know what is best for you, but the truth is, we too make mistakes and at our age, our mistakes are harder to fix, and it might scar us. He is just trying to protect you, every parent want to see their little girl up, but parents forget that, and all they want is their little girl forever. I am not trying to side with your dad, i am just saying it is a difficult time for him. If you are still mad at him, then write a letter, and leave it on his desk or somewhere. life isnt always fair, and i understand how you feel, i feel that way sometimes, but after a while i realize that they do care about me, not because it is their "job" but because they want me to be happy.