Views please?

Question:

Views please?

My Addiction to foundation and lip-gloss lead to my self-abuse through high heels and stomach shrinking diets. I cottoned onto the bitchy jokes that were whisper through conditioned hair and made a promise to myself that one day I would be Queen of the crowds.

“I would like everyone to write the name of two people they would like to work with” Mrs. Tailor asked the class as she handed out small ripped pieces of paper.

I watched the rest of the class quickly scribble down their mates’ names. Watching their hand movements I tried to see if anyone would write down my name. I chose not to believe that anyone would, as I never fitted in with any of them.

“Who’s names have you put?” said Dan. Known as the fattest kid in the school he was a walking verbal punch bag.

“I don’t know yet” I replied. Taking a second look around the room I decided to pick the people who stood out as being less threatening. But there was only Dan and this other kid Harry who couldn’t speak good English that fit.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: you had an amazing opening- it really sounded like a perfect teen book, and i would definitely buy it! your last paragraph was weaker though. if this girl wanted to be popular than y was she putting down unpopular kids names? You were off to an amazing start though, awesome story and ignore answerer #1!!! i LOVED IT!! Source(s):
have been writing for 8 years and have had two short stories published 1. You don't sound like a very nice person
and
2. Where's the question?