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Question:

How does my poem sound to you?

What more can I bear,
I struggle with life day by day,
Wondering how all this ever began,
Wondering when all this pain will ever end.

Tears stream from my eyes,
Like the river flows through the valley,
My heart aches,
It feels like swords are being pierced into me,
I feel so frightened and so helpless,
I can??t defend myself,
And trying is useless.

Sometimes death flashes before me,
But I remember my pride and joy that I live for,
My son,
And now I have another reason to continue with life,
I have your love.

From the first moment we spoke,
It felt right
And each day after we cared more for each other,
And now our love is unbreakable,
It is as strong as the roots of an oak tree,
Buried so deep and travels so far into the ground.

I want to give my all to you,
And be forever true to you,
This hurt I feel now,
Will be happiness with you,
But patient I will remain until I have you in my arms,
And never let you go,
As long as you want the same.


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Beautiful....
Very expressive, descriptive and meaningful.
I like the content, but you don't have an extremely good pattern in the layout of the verses...
It's metaphorical though... that's always useful.... it makes poems sound way better....
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Keep those creative juices going!!!!!