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Please read this, I'd like some feedback, thanks so much!?

The land of nod is an ingenious place,
Filled with creatures of every race,
As you close your eyes and drift off to sleep,
You??ll see this is where those creatures meet.
Creepy crawling into your dreams,
They??ll snatch at your clothes and rip at your seams.
One might be frightened to see such a sight,
But there are a few that scream with delight.
This place is quiet when no one??s about,
But as you sleep the demons creep out.
On to your bed they??ll bite at your toes,
Gnaw at you fingers and pick at your nose.

Hopelessly restless as you toss in your bed,
These visions will haunt you alone in your head.
Talking to yourself as you stumble about,
You??ll move to the light and try to get out.
No where to go as you??ve traveled too far,
Alas you look up to see the shine of a star.

The star shine??s so intense, as it speaks to the moon;
That you think to yourself, the end will be soon.
??The mourn will be coming?? says the star light as day,
??Help this poor child, he must get away??.
??Nothing to do??, the moon shakes his head,
??This man is just lying alone in his bed??.

Visions of monsters too great to be seen,
Are filling your head, and yet you can??t scream.
The fear deep inside is welling about,
And your insides are burning with distrust and doubt.
The smoke screen is clearing and all will be known,
Through the dazzling light all will be shown.
As you run through the darkness with a chill in the air,
You can still feel the spiders swarm through your hair.
Then all of a sudden it becomes clear,
Red as blood the truth does appear.
In echo??s you hear the sounds of the voices
Speaking beyond and because of your choices
Awaken poor soldier, the day starts anew,
When evening comes we??ll be back to get you.

Additional Details

4 months ago
This is my first poem and I want to know how to make it better, and does it make sense to you? If so what do you think I am talking about? Thank you very much I really appreciate it!

4 months ago
Also does it rhyme too much? I started out wanting it to be a children's poem....but I don't know if it took a wrong turn or what...


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I would put for the last two lines of the first verse:

On to your bed they??ll jam at your toes,
Snap at your fingers and pick at your nose.

"Jam" as in toe jam... snap as in "snap your fingers"... pick at your nose was good, as in "pick your nose".

I think the first verse was the best by far and then things drifted off in a different direction. I was expecting more about those monsters that get you at night...