Question:
I wrote this! (feedback please)?
Untitled
He yells, She screams
He punches, She cries
Yet again they??re in the same place
Yet again dabbed makeup to cover the scars up on her face.
Loving him was something that was so hard for her to do
She gave up her whole world just to be with him
He brought her down to a place so low
As she continued to take his assaults blow, after blow
Emotionally and physically she was completely drained
Not knowing the amazing women she could be
If only she would set herself free
She puts a smile upon her face
Wishing time could erase
All the pain he caused her
Timid and bemused
His insincere apologies she tried to refuse
But, they always ended up in the same place
With him taking out his anger with his fists against her face
After so many years, and tears
She finally got the strength to leave him
And she promised she would never go back
She finally realized someone who truly loved her, would never treat her like that
-Lovely lala
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It a nice poem but frankly, a well covered topic. Maybe even over covered. Keep writing though. You've got some serious potential. Also, you could try reading poetry some more. Ive been reading alot lately and I think its been helping the way I think when I write.