What do you all think of this poem I have written?

Question:

What do you all think of this poem I have written?

Lust intensifies deeper, each breath she inhales
For thou art traveling along the lonely road of deception and despair.
Her deepest secrets remain instilled behind an unknown resource neither lacking control nor power.
Though properly manuvered, helplessly drowning vulnerable and alone.
For thou hast touched her convicting soul so gently as if carressing the wings of a butterfly
Silently screaming for thee, for surely it seems that those whom we cannot attain desired the most.
For she but a speck of dust in the icy bluster of wind.
Living this abstruce life, always reminded to return to this obscured reality.

please everyone give your most brutally honest oppinion. Good day and God bless:)

-Brooke

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I would add two lines.

"Though all hell tried to possess her,

JESUS came and rescued her."

dave