Question:
Is this good so far?
You know the whole story about Cinderella and how she was so nice, perfect, and beautiful right? Well that is not true, not true at all. She was the one who wrote the story and she changed it a lot. Anyways, let me tell you my side of the story which is completely and utterly true.
My sweet mom decided to marry Cinderella??s dad because he needed her and he loved her. A year later when her father died, I tried to comfort her and took her outside. Then she yelled ??You! You killed my father!?? Then she talked to all my animal friends and she turned them against me. Scene then I could not help with any of the house work because the animals would stop me.
You know those tattered clothes she wore? Well they weren??t tattered when I gave them to her at least. You see I made them so she would forgive me even though I didn??t do anything I am such a nice person aren??t I? Oh right the story! Um... oh yeah and they were the most stylish thing then. She just wore them a lot and then they got all worn away but she still kept them.
One day a letter came and she gave it to my mom. My mother called us into the room and said ??It is an invitation to a royal ball. Those who have finished there house work and find something nice to wear may go.?? Cinderella knew that if she did my house work and Drusilla??s house work she would not get anything to wear. So she would go off running into the courtyard and crying. Then the family??s fairy godmother would appear (she had visited her before but that is a different story).
It didn??t turn out that way though because I was nice and told the mice that she didn??t have anything to wear and then I asked them if they would make something for her. Which they did only because it would benefit her.
Additional Details3 months ago
can you tell me if this is good so far and can you prof read it for me?
3 months ago
It is for my language arts
3 months ago
my la class that is
thx to all who answer
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
If it's for your personal catharsis, then it's fine.
If you intend to show it to others, you're going to need to fix a couple things. Right now it's what amounts to propaganda: the protagonist is too good, the antagonist is too bad. It's too clear-cut, and it makes them both caricatures rather than characters. Even the worst villain has *some* redeeming quality, and every protagonist needs a flaw.