Is this a good poem for my girlfriend?

Question:

Is this a good poem for my girlfriend?

okay so my girlfriend let me read her poems and they were kinda gushy... I said I would write her one so here it is shes my girlfriend for only 2 weeks do you think it is good, creepy, or what?

Oh grey blue eyes

your beautiful grey blue eyes shatter me
into a million little pieces
Oh how could the two of us be
yet I will feel for you until my life ceases

Friends first that's the way it goes
hopefully it will work
Oh however no one knows
Hopefully you wont think me a jerk

My heart is heavy every time I see you
pass me in the halls
Oh I only ask that you
Be with me when I fall

However I think I have already fallen
for those two beautiful eyes
and for your

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

its pretty good but try not to use "crude" words like "jerk". and try to make lines that rhyme have the same amount of syllables