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Question:

What does everyone think of this poem? Feedback.?

As the rain pats on my window,
only time will tell, only god will know
the sudden beauty, which is in your heart, that only we can see. And I dream I could be in your life, I just wish I could only play a part.

I only hope that there is something I can do,
I??m just not sure how I can express my love for you.
You mean so much to me.
I don't know how this could possibly be.
How can this be true?
If only I could always be there for you,
I want to spend every hour in your presence.
Angels are even amazed by your beauty.
Your love is my life.

I feel that I can't live without you
I will love you forever, I shall never doubt you.
You mean the world to me.
Why can you not see?
Every time I see you I get butterflies,
Whenever I'm not with you, my heart sighs.

Every time I'm near you, I live again.
You see, you take me straight to heaven when I??m with you.
But as soon as this rain goes, there will always be beautiful rainbows.

Additional Details

2 months ago
lol, I realize it sucks....just the way I feel, it's the first thing that comes to mind....


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

i think this poem is really good, its worth reading and worth answering.
Over all i liked the rhythm of the poem, but there were two lines where rhythm seemed to have broken but you got on track again after them.

Angels are even amazed by your beauty.
Your love is my life.

i think these lines didn't looked that smooth as your whole poem.
But i should really thank you for sharing such an beautiful idea of love with everyone here, and oh i really liked the end concept of your poem. I always like the insightful themes.

good job.