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Revising/Edit my short narrative?

She was determined to begin a new life walking down the dirty road. She glanced down at her ragged clothes torn away. They were her memories of despair and misfortune that exploded all through her still youthful innocence. She erased the painful thoughts once more from her head and stared down the deserted road. Where was her sign of hope? All she had was black concrete with stupid yellow lines in the middle. They were useless to her and none of them would rise to her expectations. She began dreading her past once more with the painful memories flashing to her as if it were a horror film. Crying once more she flushed her tears away in rage. She was disgusted with crying. What more was crying going to except cure her of thirst. No, she thought, she was done with her past. The past should not impact her future. The future should be changing her past. And with that headlights approached down the highway.

1 month ago
Thanks if you could revise/edit this for me! Some ideas would be good too.

[I think you need something to introduce the mood before you get into the story] She was determined to begin a new life walking down the {dark deserted} dirt road. She glanced down at her ragged clothes{- half torn}. {i cut out uneeded words in this next sentence.} Memories of despair and misfortune exploded through her youthful innocence. She erased the painful thoughts {of what..you can't just leave us hanging! You'll loose your audience if you just stay on the outside} once more from her {mind} and stared down the road {she was traveling alone}. Where was her sign of hope? All she had was black concrete with [stupid here took away the feeling...keep it out] yellow lines {dividing two halves that would never meet}. They were useless to her and none of them would rise to her expectations [this sentece makes no sense...how could pavement and yellow lines do anything for her...change the sentence]. She began {reliving} [dreading is more for the future tense] her past with the painful memories flashing {infront of} her as if it were a horror film. {She began to cry violently, but quickly,} she flushed her tears away in rage. She was disgusted with crying. What more was crying going to do except cure her of thirst.[Really don't like that last sentence..doesn't make much logical sense..change it] No, she thought, she was done with her past. The past should not impact her future. The future should be changing her past.[ehh, again, don't really like the last sentence...you cannot change the past..maybe say something like...making the future bright...bla bla bla]. {And with her final sob, two dim lights appeared in the distance of the dark, lonely, and no longer deserted road}.

It was okay, I think it really lacks feeling. The sentences don't really flow together. I put comments and whatnot in it- changed some sentences to make them sound better/grammar was fixed(not much of that stuff though). I say add something more to grab everyone's attention. Like...describe the horrors of her past being flashed infront of her. Describe the clothes that are torn. Is she bringing anything with her down the road? Why is she even walking down the road? Fix it up and it will be good. Sorry for all the markings...I correct papers a lot for friends :-p

Best of luck!!!