How can I get my pickles to stop dancing?

Question:

How can I get my pickles to stop dancing?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I lost my pickle fourteen years ago in a tragic haircut accident. I've been searching for it for many years, but so far all I've found are a few ransom notes and one or two empty pickle jars.

If you ever find him, his name is Allabaster McFinnigain O'Smelly. Please, return him to his pickle lord.