Question:
Do you like my poem? Just say what you feel?
In the season of death and suffering,
Where no hope seems alive.
I look to the horizon, not far away,
Where the winter sunset lives.
Melting the cold white chilling ice,
From the bleak and colourless sky.
Shining like the light of an angel,
Blessing each soul winter's killed.
When no laugh or cheer is heard at this time,
I look up to that sunset.
For it's the heaven of each dead memory,
Of each summer I have lived.
So when there's no hope in a shivering winter,
That sunset is your saviour.
For when i see it I know, a Joyful summer,
Is just another sky away.
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Yes. I would leave out "At this time" in the 3rd par. 1st line, and "that sunset" in the 2nd line.
4th paragraph 2nd line should be "my" saviour.
I like your point of view and content very much!