What do you think of my poem?

Question:

What do you think of my poem?

my hands find their way to her sweet neck
her lung's exhausted and her soul's a wreck
my hands are blind, traveling by the scent of her sick
her eyes motioning back and forth finally stick
my hands excersise my love over her skin
her mouth's open wide to swallow my sin

this is my favorite, small and to the point, can you guess what her sickness was?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

This is horribley written...and too much too the point..yeah, be more subtle........................... don't like it srry