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Please comment on this poem, your comments will be appreciated. Thank you?

He spinkled fairy dust upon her soul
What a feeling, so unknown.
Will her prayers be answered?

If she opened her eyes, would she be able to see
That he could possibly be
but afraid to believe,
I close my eyes
ignorant,
yet pure,
untouched,
unsure.

A story so sad, unhappily ever after.
Awaiting a kiss, to begin my next chapter.

Additional Details

6 months ago
Should I switch that paragragh?

6 months ago
I mean the last paragragh should I end it with the unhappily everafter.


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Not as good as the last, but still a bit melancholy. Poetry doesn't always have to be about sadness. I don't like some of the words used in the poem, the poem itself is good. You could try rephrasing it thought. You talk about her and then I, kinda makes it a bit confusing. Try this, it's not great but it's what I think would make it a bit better.

He sprinkled fairy dust upon my soul
I grew feelings so unknown
Will my prayers be answered?

If I opened my eyes, would I see
That he could possibly be
Am I afraid to believe

I keep my eyes closed
Ignorant but pure
Untouched and unsure

Awaiting a kiss, to continue this book

Just a thought.