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Question: Think my character is a Mary Sue!?! (Described inside)!?
Ok so I recently started writing an HP fanfic based in the Marauder era, and I think one of my leading characters might be a Mary Sue! :(
The girl's name is Dorcas Meadowes, cousin of Remus Lupin, and neighbor of James Potter!. She's very short, with a slight figure, wild uncontrollable blond curls, and sparkling blue eyes - definitely one of the prettiest girls in school, if not Prettier than Lily Evans!.

She's a Beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and although she definitely doesn't top in any subject at Hogwarts (except Care of Magical Creatures), she's still considered pretty bright and is one of Slughorn's favorites, both for her skills and her Dad's position in the Daily Prophet (she's well off too see :( with an influential father)!. She's always fighting with James and Sirius coz the two can't take her arrogant and bossy ways, but they're all still good friends!. Even Lily Evans, who she never got along with too much coz she never worshiped her like Alice did, and she manage to become steadfast friends towards the end of school when Lily's own friendship with Severus Snape and Mary McDonald end!.

Oh and she's got a job as a reporter on the Daily Prophet, insulting Voldemort in every other post!. She lost her mother when she was just a kid, because her father and her Uncle (Remus's dad) were together campaigning against werewolves!. This was the same reason for Remus being attacked and the two families having a falling out!.

Although she dates a couple of guys, she's always fancied Sirius, although he doesn't realize until she dies!.

Oh, and the reason for her death is even more Mary Suish:( Turns out the beautiful sapphire pendant being passed down through the generations of her Muggle mom's family is actually an ancient magical artifact, which once belonged to Wilhelmina Something, old powerful magician, and can on random occasions be unlocked by her own magic!. This is incidentally the thing Voldemort wants for his horcrux (you know, the one he used right after the killing curse rebounded on him, that JKR hasn't mentioned anywhere)

Oh, and I forgot, she's never made a prefect or anything because she's too bossy and might misuse her position while thinking she was doing good!. And all the novels she writes in her free time suck big time and she knows it too, but they seem to find a large audience nonetheless (mainly the readers of Witch Weekly and the like)!. And her father never gave her a lot of love, having withdrawn into himself after her mother's death, but she still had an ok-ok childhood compared to people like Remus and Sirius!.
Lol so d'you think my character's a Mary Sue!?

Is there any way in which I can salvage her character!? :(

I really don't wanna make her ugly cuz well, Sirius is soo good looking!. And she can't be too dumb, or else Voldemort would never have gone after her himself!. I've thought of making her arrogant, slightly superficial and hot tempered, who always thinks she's right and tends to patronize other characters, but apart from that really can't think of anything else!.

Please please help me if you have any suggestions!. Or do you think I'm just being paranoid and don't even need to make her all that flawed!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
hell yeah!. she might as well have MS tattooed on her forehead!.

ms never work!. never!. origional characters in fna fic are gnerally a really really really bad idea!. they always have some special ability/talent/connection to the story or something!. and it's usually a really bad idea!.

there's very little chance to save her to be honest!. i'm not saying that you can't!. i'm just saying that it's not a god dea, and it's very hard to do anything with them that works!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Yea, she is a MS!. Majorly!. Idon't know if you can save her!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'm just going to hope you're kidding!.

If you're not!.!. don't write it!.

!.!.!.Actually, don't write it even if you are!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Awww!.!.!. yes honey, your Dorcas Meadowes really is a Mary Sue, so Mary Sue in fact, that it makes me cringe (sorry but it's true)

Hmm!.!.!. if you believe you have an interesting plot, take the focus away from the characters who should never have been important and lay more emphasis on the story

As far as the being pretty/cute/cool just to help her be with Sirius goes, aargh! Leave him be! Don't hook him up with your idea of a perfect girl coz believe me, there are hundreds of other teenagers out there waiting to do the same!. If you're writing to satisfy yourself and don't intend to post/read reviews if you end up posting/not care if all reviews are bad if you end up reading, then go ahead!.!.!. but if you're looking for a serious writing future cut this habit from the very start!.

I totally agree with whatever cla ro said


As far as salvaging your character goes!.!.!. um!.!.!. not much you can do, unless you mean to be firm, delete all you previous notes, and start afresh, and only give her about as much importance as characters like Mad Eye Moody got!.

I hope that helps!.!. I'm not a writer or anything, so my advice might be horribly wrong too

Lol but you most certainly aren't being paranoid :PWww@QuestionHome@Com