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Question: My own book page 1(please read this and comment) You can get en points for an honest answer!.!?
So I started to write my own story, and already posted a little piece, I have already written a few pages!.
I'm gonna let you read the first page now, COULD YOU PLEASE read it and tell me if you like it or not and why!?
It is my own story, and characters, but i would like to know if people are curious the read my whole book when it is done!.
Have fun reading and thank you very much!!

It was really strange that the hole in my body had finally closed!.
My heart was complete, I didn't really expect for it to ever happen, and certainly not this way, when I met him!.!.!.

PREFACE


I've always known that I was different, both in and outside!.
People always look up when they see me, it used to make me feel strange, but by now I am used to it!.
It is not that I ever made myself look different by the way I was dressed, or something like that, I've just never looked “normal”!.
My appearance affects people in some way, like when you meet someone who intrigues you, someone you can't take your eyes off!.
It was always that way since I was a little girl, people looking at me if I was something they had never seen before, something new, something!.!.!.unknown!.

Growing up in my hometown of Bishop,Georgia, I never found it really easy!.
With a population that extended to 200 - a little more or less -, I knew alot of the people in town and they knew me, Anna Miles, adopted by Mike and Kate Miles, a very special little girl, to whom special things happend!.

Ha! And boy were they right! Ever since I was little, the strangest things happened to me!.

This one time – I was 9 – I was sitting in class, daydreaming like I usually was when trying to escape uninteresting lessons!. I was very far away and when I closed my eyes for one second, I was standing in the middle of the toilets at school!. Can you believe that!?!
It was so confusing and scaring, that when they found me, it took the school nurse 4 hours to calm me down properly!. 4 hours!

And it wasn't the last time something like that would happen!.

With knowing most families in town I also know their kids, but I never really had alot of friends!.
Even now, being sixteen years old, I can still count them on one hand!.

The thing is, when I'm with people, especially the ones of the same age, I don't really feel comfortable!.
I am very consious of things that happen around me, and more thoughtful wheing my options when I have to make decicions!.
I think about everything, and want to know everything!.
I never had the feeling that anyone I have ever met connected with me, understood me, wich is very frustrating!.

And then there is this other thing about me, that nobody knows about!. I's something I have felt all my life, and I'm still trying to find out why it is like this!.
I have always felt that there is something really missing, it 's like there is a hole in my heart!.
And until I find whatever it is I need I don't think I can ever feel complete, satisfied, with myself and the life I live!.
My mind and body yearn for this unknown need!.
Something or maybe someone has to fill up the missing piece, but I'm afraid that I may never find what I'm looking for!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i honestly think this is really good!.
i dont read alot of books because usually i can't get into them, but i like this one!. It makes me want to read more and find out what's up with this girl and what happens!. =] i really like it, and i'd like to read more!. email me or something when your doneWww@QuestionHome@Com

9/10 i think its really good!.
I would be exited of reading more of your book i will read it in the future when it hits shelves ;)Www@QuestionHome@Com

It has potential, reads a bit like an autobiography or a 14 year olds diary though!. also, it seems like you're covering way to much background information about the person in too little of space, you could probably expand this small background info to extend a couple pages worth!. Goodluck with the rest of your book !Www@QuestionHome@Com

no sorry, but your sentence structure is actually annoying me beyond measure, they're all exactly the same and very dreary!. Sorry but i really find that to be a big issue, try mixing up some expression and definetely when you're trying to evoke empathy, don't overdo it, i mean you can't just go "Hey look at me, understand me"!.

Don't be discouraged, but i am being brutally honest and frankly i don't even like the whole over reflective style of writting anyway!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I HONESTLY think that it's really good!. I would definitely be interested in reading more!
a few tips:
In paragraph 3/4, I think the "ha!" should be taken out, it seems a little unnecessary!. also, that question "Can you believe that!?", doesn't really seem to fit, although I'm not sure who I am to judge, because it's better than anything i could ever write!. Just trying to give some constructive criticism =)!. All in all, it's really great!.Www@QuestionHome@Com