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Question: Thoughts!? Comments!? Criticism!?
What feelings are you getting from the character in this chapter!? What does it remind you of!? What kind of story does this seem like to you!? Where do you see it going!? I'm really not one to post my stories in public, but my friends have been too nice with their "criticism", so I'd like if you shared your thoughts with me honestly!. If this is too much for you to read, don't bother!. I understand!. But for those of you who are kind enough, thank you in advance!. Enjoy!. :)

I hear a loud beating sound coming from above me!. I hear it every time I’m awake!. What is it!? I wonder!. I wonder about a lot of things!. Where am I!? Why is it so dark!? Why are there so many noises coming from outside the darkness!? I want the noises to stop!. I want to sleep!. I close my eyes, but sleep will not come!. The beating sound is distracting, and it won’t cease or subside; it only accentuates!. When will it end!?

I have been here for long!. At first it seemed the space I am in was infinite, but over time the space became cramped and there wasn’t much room to move!. I can’t tell if there’s a beginning to how I got here, how I came to be able to produce my own thoughts, to be able to breathe on my own!. I am horribly confused!. The question becomes inevitable by now: What am I!? There is no other way for me to know unless I discovered, put an end to the beating sound, and got some answers!.

I uncurl from my fetal position and reach my hands out in front of me, trying to make sense of my surroundings!. My head starts throbbing continuously in sync with the amplifying beating sound, and I feel as if I’m going to explode!. I grasp something that feels like leather from above me and try to support myself getting up, but I keep falling down hard on my knees halfway!. I feel like jelly!.

Another sound erupts from beyond the darkness!. This one comes not from above but across from me!. It sounds as if someone is mumbling, over and over again, in an eternal cycle!. I dig my nails deep into my skin!. Noisy, noisy, noisy, so noisy! Instead of trying to get myself up, I decide to crawl toward the noise!. There must be a doorknob here somewhere!. There must be!.

I find it!. I open it!.

The light here is just as obscure, but after blinking a few times my eyes begin to adjust!. I can see a soft glow of light coming from across the room!. I see two silhouettes – one male, one female, approximately in their late teens, holding on to each other’s bodies, saying the words “I love you” constantly; the source of the mumbling sound!. They stop and stare at me!. I retreat back into my cave!. I hear pants zipping up, footsteps on the hardwood floor, with hesitation coming closer toward me!.

Both their slender figures are outlined by the light coming from behind them, their hair standing out most!. As they approach, their figures become bigger, and the closer they are to where I am the less light there is!. They are now faceless in the dark, yet they still speak!.

“What the hell is he doing in here!? Is he drunk or something!?”

“God, how many drinks do you think this guy had to be in that shape!?

“Um, I dunno, ten, maybe more!.”

“Is there a light in here somewhere!? Turn it on!.”

A hand reaches inside my cave and feels around for the light!. My back is pushed hard against the wall – I hope it’s a sort of revolving door that leads into a different room!.

The light goes on!. I scream!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Woah!. That's really good!. :D
I bet the finished product will be great!.

I'm just wondering, at what age group is this aimed!? !._!.
Because if it's on the younger side, you might want to edit the story a little, make it more PG!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

That is really good!
The beginning is great,it makes you think, "is this sci-fi, fantasy, horror!?!?" And then you find out he might be drunk!
Keep writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Seems to me like the character is strung out on drugs!. Very interesting!. I'd like to read more, and find out what's really going on!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!. Now I want to finish reading it!. It's really good =]Www@QuestionHome@Com