I'm writing my first book and need feedback. ?

Question: I'm writing my first book and need feedback!. !?

I have just started writing my first book!. Anyone that will give me honest feedback will be greatly appreciated!. Be as honest as possible, especially when it's not good!. The link is below!. Thanks so much!.

http://www!.worthyofpublishing!.com/chapte!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I think you're off to a good start, but even though it's one paragraph, it seems like it's rushing through!. I think you should work on making longer, more flowing sentences, instead of the quick, choppy ones you have now!.

Good luck :)

also: edit the tempo of some of the sentences; they all seem to have generally the same intonations in the same places!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

When I went to the site and began reading your prologue, I realized that I'd read it previously and commented upon it in answer to a question which you posted on another occasion!. I think that my critique was apropos and (I hope) helpful, so I'll refer you to that rather than to be repetitious here! However, I will mention that I do think that you have potential as a writer and that your story is intriguing!.!.!.
In rechecking your questions, I saw that you gave me a Best Answer (Thanks!), so I'll give someone else a chance this time! You've added another chapter since I last read what you'd posted!. Keep writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com

i only read the Prolog but its good so far! good jobWww@QuestionHome@Com

yup
i want to read the rest of the boook aready from the frist sentence
good jobWww@QuestionHome@Com