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Question: How is this for the start of a story!!!.!.!?
There I was running down the old cobbled path in the dark and misty night!. The sound of the crow’s echoed across the night sky!. There was a gentle breeze of cold air!. When I looked around at the grave stones I could make out a name “Peter Falcon”!. I had to keep running as these shadows where following me! As I turned back I saw someone standing in a long black robe , I could only see below there nose from the moonlight shining on them!. I could hear them breathing , it got louder and louder but they was not getting closer!. I heard foot steps behind me I looked to see if anyone was there, when I looked back the figure was gone!.
Please include :
Good Points
Bad Points
What I should improve on!!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
its pretty good! very desriptive! only there is some sentences that are choppy and extra words u dont need!. try writing in like this!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
there i was running down the old, cobbled path in the dark and misty night!. the sound of crows echoed across the night sky and there was a gentle breeze of cold air!. when i was wondering around the grave stones, i could make out a name "Peter Falcon!." carved into the granite!. i continued running as these shadows were following me! as i turned my head, i saw someone standing in a long black robe, i could only see below the nose from the moonlight!. i heard breathing, it got louder and louder but they were not getting closer!. i heard footsteps behind me so i looked to see if anyone was there and noticed the black figure was gone!.
good job!!!!!!!!! Www@QuestionHome@Com
a little more introduction!. i want to know what these shadow things are!. check your grammar, and spelling!. also, i noticed you said that as you turned around you saw something!. then when you turned back around it was gone!. when did you turn your heaad Www@QuestionHome@Com
Good: Really great writing style!.
Bad: GRAMMAR!
Improve on: The different There's (there, their and they're)!.
Hope this helps!!Www@QuestionHome@Com