im posting a lot of these types of questions :P ok i kno it sounds a lot like the mediator but i SWARE that the story plot is alot diff!. i think this is sucky!. how can i rewrite it!? does it need rewriting!? help asap!!!
“KEELY!” someone yelped from the other room!. I almost choked on my apple from the sudden outburst!. I ran into the room where I heard the noise!.
“What!?! What’s wrong!?!” I panted!. I saw Tommy terrified!. I caught my breath and managed to speak more evenly!.
“What!? Did you see a spider or something!?” I asked!.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the kid was scared over an innocent spider!. He’s scared of other harmless things, the dark, roller coasters, heights, shall I go on!? I, on the other hand, am completely fearless!. Id have to be brave and grow a back bone if Im going to deal with dead people for the rest of my life!. Bees, on the other hand, is an entirely different story!. If I see a harmless bee dozing on a flower, I run screaming!.
“N-no no, its not that!. I-I just…saw something” he said in a shaky voice!. Right then and there when he said he saw something, I knew he was referring to a ghost!. To be more specific, I knew he was referring to Rayne!. I swear, if he tried to scare Tommy out of his own enjoyment, as most ghosts do, then im going to kick him where the sun don’t shine!. Even though he wont feel it because he’s dead but it would make me feel a lot better!.
“What did you see!?”
“I walked downstairs to the kitchen and I saw the refrigerator door open by itself!. Keely, we’re not the only ones living in this house” he said!. Its funny because I only hear people say that in horror flicks!. I rolled my eyes!. I know it was rude of me to do so since the poor kid was scared out of his pants but in my opinion, he was being overly dramatic!. I’ve dealt with ghosts for years and I don’t think they’re that scary!. “Maybe Josh forgot to close the refrigerator door!.” I pointed out in my most convincing voice!. Tommy pushed his glasses closer to his eyes!.
help!?!?!!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com