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Question: What do you think!?!? (10 points to best)!?
constructive critisism!?!?!?
I stumbled over to my dresser and grabbed the first clothes I could find, not bothering to check and see if they matched or not!. Suppressing a yawn, I dragged myself to the bathroom and frowned at the hideous monster looking back at me in the sink mirror!. My hair was in a knotted mop on top of my head and there were dark bags under my eyes!.
Grabbing a hard-bristled brush, I started to pull at the web of knots!. But it was no use – my hair was a lost cause!. I made my way down the hall to the stairs, pausing to let my dog, Blueberry, move out of my way!.
The recliner looked warm and inviting as I walked into the living room!. So I sat down and turned the television on, turning down the volume so as to not wake up my mom!.
The news was on and I was about to change the channel when something caught my eye!. It was him, the man who I had saw in the woods the previous night!. I’m not sure how I knew since I hadn’t seen him in the light!. But as they showed a picture of the scary, dark-haired man, I was sure this was the guy I had run into!. I recognized his eyes, the bright blood-red eyes that had glared down at me with so much hatred; I knew he wanted me dead!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
you are a good writer, very descriptive!. but it being a good book, would really depend on your story!. and i cant really tell from reading this what exactly it's about, but ill give it a guess: the main character is a teen possibly raised by a single mom, girl, mystery thriller!. impression from this section: not very original!.
-hope this helps, probably won't!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think it is really well written!. I like the description of stumbling over to the dresser, that is so realistic!. I like the touch about pausing to let Blueberry out of the way!.
Now, I really like the last line : "I knew he wanted me dead"!.!.!.!.!.really makes me want to read the next installment!.
Great writing, I cannot see anything to critisize at all ! Nice !.Www@QuestionHome@Com
ok to many details and not really a believable story and why would u brush ur hair or put on clothes if its late at night and just going to watch tv
and if it was dark how could u see so many details ur contradicting urselfWww@QuestionHome@Com
I don't have anything to correct but one thing!. I love the story it makes me want more and it grabs my attention but maybe a little less description right next to each other!. maybe just *** good details but not as much!. i love it!.KEEP WRITING!!!! when its done please email it to me at csyftestad@yahoo!.com!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I actually think it's pretty good!. And I only found one grammatical error!.
My hair was in a knotted mop on top of my head<need a comma here> and there were dark bags under my eyes!.
Other than that, great! And very interesting!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Excellent narrative!. Great Ending!.
You did a good job describing everything without being too complex with adjectives and verbs!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Awesome!
But (and this is just constructive criticism) it should read "the man who I had seen"
Otherwise, it was fantastic!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I'm kind of a spazz about using regular words!.!.!.
Like "scary"!.
I would use horrid or terrifying, etc!.
Or blood red, use "crimson tinted" or bloodshot!.
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omg thats rly good, only thing that you have to correct is 'the man who I had saw in the woods' isn't it`' i had seen'!? either way,really good!.!.did it end there!?!?cuz i wanna know what happensss:)Www@QuestionHome@Com
that was really really good!. are you going to write more thoughh!?
because the way you leave us hanging with the man in the woods is good and this idea could be expanded on!
well doneWww@QuestionHome@Com
i love it dude!.
not "the man who i had saw" but "the man who i had seen"!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
wow your really good, but i would be a little more descriptive in the 2nd paragraph!
can you help!?
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
awesome!.!.!.!.!.couldnt stop readingWww@QuestionHome@Com
hmm!.!.!.pending!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
wow this is really good!.
if this becomes a novel, i'm so getting it!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Sounds good!.!.!.:}Www@QuestionHome@Com
It was great!.!.Make a second part i wanna know whats going to happenWww@QuestionHome@Com
i was totally in the woods and saw him too!.!.!.!.!.!. good job!Www@QuestionHome@Com
oooooh it sounds cool so far!
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Theres a lot of I'sWww@QuestionHome@Com
ID READ IT!!!
when ur done the rest!.!.!. send it to me
asia!.-@hotmail!.com
its awesome!Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is awesome!. I'm not trying to win best answer just because I said that, but this truly is!. It has so much detail that it caused me to have a really vivid imagination of what was going on in the story and I liked the way you described the man's eyes and HOW he looked at you!. You also did really well on capturing what happened before he saw the television and how you used lots of imagery to make this!. I love it!.
It's awesome - that's all I can really say!.
I don't find anything wrong with this at all!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
NOT READING IT! JUST CAME FOR MY 2 POINTSWww@QuestionHome@Com