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Question: How do you like this story so far!?
This story is based on what really happened to me!. Every single detail that's in this story is what happened to me!. Please tell me what you think of my life put into a story!.

Chapter One
Big Day, Big News

Many girls surrounded me!. They were all chattering about how today will be exciting, how today is my big day, how today will the beginning of my new life!. I just smiled as if I really cared!. I looked to my right, looking at my mother who just sat quietly looking out the window!. She didn’t mean for me to feel guilty, but I knew I was the whole reason for what made her sad!. I almost cried looking at her!. I looked back at the girls and saw that my mother was looking at me from the point of view I was looking at!. I tried my best to make it look like I wasn’t going to cry because all of my relatives and friends will go on and lecture me saying how everything is going to be fine, but they’re the ones who end up crying, not me!. From what I saw, my mom was looking back out the window!. I put her through so much and she is still supporting me!. I looked away, fighting back the tears!. My face turned hot!. I thought I was going to explode!. Suddenly, my mother was telling everyone to leave so I could get ready even though there was still five hours until my wedding!. Everyone smiled saying everything is going to be fine!. A few started to cry, their sad faces not ready to see me grow up living my own life without the one I truly and sincerely loved ever since middle school!. As everyone walked out, my mother shut the door behind them!. She took a deep breath and smiled, “Phew, aren’t you glad that’s over!?” I looked at her with a frown!. “Why are you being so nice!?” I asked!. “I don’t deserve this!.”
My mom was a little shocked and confused at my straight forward question and comment, then immediately knew what I meant!.
“Sweetie, as things go on in life, you just have to go along with them,” she answered smiling!. Her smiled made me filthy with guilt!. “But I was the reason dad died, I’m the reason why embarrassment is brought to this family’s name, I really don’t deserve what I get from you, none of it,” I explained!. All I wanted her to do was scold me, slap me, yell at me until my ears burned, anything I know I deserved!.
“The hell with embarrassment!. Do you think people would’ve been standing in front of you then if they thought we brought embarrassment to this family!?” she asked with a very angry, but motherly angry, expression on her face!.
“No, but I don’t care if they think I shouldn’t be accepted in this family, all I care is if you think I should,” I told her!. I was ready for anything she would throw at me!.
“Of course I do, listen, love is silly, but very serious!. In love we do the most stupid of things, we can’t control ourselves, only the people we love can,” she recited!. Those were words my father would always tell her when they were in love!. She began to cry!.
“Mom,” I began, I really should’ve comforted her but I really wanted to tell her something, “I don’t love the person I’m going to marry!.” “Nonsense, what can you do now!? Evan left you, Andrew is the only connection you have to Evan!. Consider yourself lucky to be marrying Andrew," she spat at me!. Andrew!. Andrew was the name I’ve been hearing ever since the third grade!. I use to like him in third and fourth when he didn’t recognize me, but fifth grade was when we became best friends long before I met Evan!. I never knew my future would include him in it!. “No mom, Andrew isn’t my only connection, my heart is!. Evan is the only reason why my heart keeps pounding, because I still love him!. The day I realize I don’t love him or he never loved me, my heart will stop pounding because my body is too weak to bear it,” I told her!. Those words came from the heart, came from my memories!. I was very relieved I finally shared that with her!. “Enough! Enough about Evan! If you want to leave Andrew and continue your life with Evan, that’s fine with me, I’m not stopping you!. Just go ahead, do whatever your heart tells you!” my mom nearly screamed!. I really should’ve never brought anything up, never!. There was a long pause!. During that pause I stared at her, she hasn’t yelled at me in a long time!. It was very different to hear her tone go so much higher after the years!. She sat down on my bed, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to burst out like that!. I am cruel aren’t I!?”
I smiled, “No, that’s what I’ve been wanting, you to yell at me, your not cruel, your fair!.”
I got up and hugged her!. This hug was different than all of the other of millions of hugs I’ve given her throughout our lifetimes!. “Get ready,” she whispered in my ear!. “For you, of course,” I replied!. She kissed me on the cheek and walked out the room!. I could hear tears of happiness as she left my room!. I sighed!. I walked into the bathroom of my room and started the straighter!. I looked into the mirror and saw my black bag!. My journal from my years with Evan was held in there!. I stared at it thinking, I want to Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's very emotional, but I like it!. I love how the writing is from the girl's perspective, and it's very well-done, too!. Not many people could relate to a girl's inner feelings as nicely as you have done, and the crisis involved is one that is very realistic and could happen to anyone at all!.

"I looked to my right, looking at my mother who just sat quietly looking out the window!."

Too many "look"s, lol! But other than that, i really liked this story!. It's also really touching, and it would make a GREAT plot if the ending turned out very inspirational!. Most books are published, most movies are made, mainly because of the strong impact they give on their readers!. This story, in my opinion, has a DEFINITE chance of reaching the top!.

Good luck, and write more! You are a great author!Www@QuestionHome@Com

its got a lot of power in it :] nice job!. i like it, its long but im sure its meant to be like that!. its a little confusing jumping into it, but its very powerful and moving nice job sweetie!. and i like what the girl below me said, dont squish it all into one page, this story is to powerful for that!. so space it all out, but i understand that you had to fit into here so its ok, but in the future kind of space everything out, explain it a little better!. but otherwise I don't think you're an amature, i think you are quite good :] nice job sweetie!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Good!. Keep working!. Spice up the dialogue!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

thats really good
i like it!!!
but i dont understand the last sentence!?!?!?
wat do u want!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

you only have to read a few sentences to realize that you are very AMATEUR!. One of the main mistakes authors make is giving off all the information of the story squished into the first page!. You just need to take it slow, add a few details here and there, leave the author thinking, why!? when!? who!? Www@QuestionHome@Com

Since Emmalee doesn't know the rest of the story she can't say what you have given away or what you haven't yet and I think she is an amateur because the called the reader an author not a reader!. Amateur Emmalee!!!!!!!!!
Keep working on it it sounds good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The story is a great start, but not nearly important as this: if you are in love with someone (anyone) other than the person you are marrying, please stop and take a deep breath and think about it before you go through with it!. (You said the story was based on what happened to you!.) It's hard enough in a marriage with someone you love - marriage is not easy!. I can't tell if you married or not, as the story cut off (too long for the space) after you mentioned the journal!.Www@QuestionHome@Com