my friend wrote this but doesnt think it is good for her age!. how old do you think the person who wrote it is!? and do you think it is good!? constructive critism would be nice and sorry it is so long!.
The walk home from school that day seemed unbearably long!. I tried to tell myself it was because of the freezing weather, but I knew it was the thought of hearing John's big news!. I hoped the news was that he and Erika had finally broken up even though he would never be so excited about that!. When I arrived home, fingers numb and toes frozen, the familiar smell of warm dinner greeted me!. My mom was home from work early and had began preparing dinner!. It was John's favorite, chicken and cheesy potatoes!. I rushed up to my room, avoiding the repetitive after school conversation my mom and I have daily!. I started working on my homework when the doorbell rang!. Downstairs, I could hear John's low voice addressing our parents!. "Lindsay, John is here," my mom called up to me!. I rushed downstairs to see my older brother and our parents relaxing in the living room while dinner was finishing!. I was glad to see no sign of Erika for the first time in months!. "Maybe I was right, maybe they did break up," I thought!. John and I were only four years apart and we had been best friends up until he left for college last fall!. Before he moved out and met his girlfriend Erika, we did everything together!. He took me to all kinds of places like movies and sporting events!. He was also one of the few people I could tell anything to and it seemed like Erika replaced me when he left!. About ten minutes into our conversation, a shiny blue car pulled into the driveway!. To my disappointment, it was Erika!. The second John saw the car, he ran to the door to invite her inside!. "Sorry I am late, I got caught at work late today," Erika explained, "and hi Lindsay!. How is school going!?" "Good," I replied as I faked a smile!. Dinner was done and we all sat down at the table and got ready to eat!. "It smells delicious mom," John yelled into the kitchen as the last minute preparations were finished!. Time passed in silence when dad finally asked, "So what's the big news John!?" John looked over at Erika and she pushed her long brown hair behind her ear!. Erika smiled as John announced "We are getting married!." "Wow," mom began "I am so happy for you two!." I began chocking on a piece of chicken and mom directed me to take a drink!. After calming down, I said "Yeah, me too!." John replied with a disbelieving look on his dark, tanned face!. "Honest," I added in hoping the family would trust that I was telling the truth!. I wasn't happy for them at all!. Inside, I just wanted to tell everyone I don't want my only brother to get married and have his own family and forget about us!. I knew I had to be supportive though, just like he was always supportive of me!. Everyone had finished eating while my plate was half full!. I guess I wasn't very hungry after such thrilling news!. I asked to be excused from dinner and went back upstairs to my room!. It was impossible to concentrate on homework when thoughts of loosing my brother and best friend to some girl kept crossing through my mind!. I gave up on the homework and sat on my bed when suddenly Erika called for me!. Walking down the stairs once again, I noticed all the attention in the room was on me!. I took a seat in the nearest chair and Erika began talking to me!. "I know you and John are very close," she started "and I just wanted to let you know that we are going to try to include you as much as we can!." I quietly replied with a quite "Really!?" "Yes," Erika continued, "and we were wondering if you would like to be a bridesmaid in the wedding!." I began to think that maybe this whole thing wouldn't be nearly as bad as I thought it would be!. "I would love to," I replied back with a smile and this time it was a real smile!.Www@QuestionHome@Com