Please read and review my story?

Question: Please read and review my story!?

I've tried my first story on fanfiction!. Please read and tell me what you think! Thanx! :D
http://www!.fanfiction!.net/s/4598714/1/Ki!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I think that your story is quite good and well-written; there are a few minor errors not worth mentioning!. It is intriguing; I wanted to know what will happen next!. My advice is that you continue with it!. If you have it entirely planned, then I think it will be worthwhile for you to complete it!. Good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com

although the writing is not bad, judging from your username at fanfiction, your writing style, and your lack of depth or reality or building of character, im guessing this is an attempt to recreate a love story like twilight!. should i go so far as to say that this young guy is a vampire, probably!. if your going to write do an idea of your own and at least find something worth writing about

dont get me wrong, the REAL twilight is one of my fav!. booksWww@QuestionHome@Com

it was really great!. very suspenseful!. i would love to read more!.Www@QuestionHome@Com