I need feedback on a bitt of a book I am writing!. Tell me what you think, and would you read it!?
“Are you kidding me!?”
“He’s amazing!. You’re amazing,” said Lacie!.
I blushed!. “Hah, yeah right!. You’re just saying that!.”
“You and Mark would look absolutely gorgeous together!.”
Fourth block had just finished, Lacie and I decided to stop and grab our books during transfer time!.
I’ve had this on going drool fest for this guy mark!. He’s a mate of my mate, but I wouldn’t say we were that close!. It’s just those amazing tear blue eyes, and that blonde-never greasy looking hair!. It made me want to cling to his ankles, and shout “take me with you!” like I did to my dad when I was four!. At night, I dreamt that we would finally go out one day, like St!. Valentines Day!. That would be uber romantic!. I’m thinking about him so much, it’s actually kind of getting to the stalker point!. I purposely take the long way home, so I can walk by his house, doing my model strut!. Of course, seventy-five present of the time, I trip over something, making me look mad!. I’ve really got two classes with him, but he’s only spoken to me once, begging for a pencil!. How special!. I was determined to get him to notice me, but honestly it’s pretty hard to ignore me!. I’m almost at the desperate stage!.
“Shut up, he’ll never fancy me, it’s just annoying!. I honestly think he likes transvestites or something!. I’ve done everything!. The tom-boy, girly, Goth, rocker chick!. It’s starting to make me go mad!” Lacie nodded her head!. As if she knew what I was talking about, which she obviously didn’t!. Lacie’s gorgeous!. Tall, thin!. She’s got pin-straight brunette hair!. Light olive skin, because her parent’s are Italian, she’s got boys chasing after her in every direction!. Having two drop dead gorgeous sisters helps too!. One specializes in makeup, and hair!. The other, has the brains!. So that leaves Lacie a little bit of both, look’s and brains!. Something I wish I had a slice of, or at least a crumble!. My mate’s are always saying I’m beautiful in my own way!. Sometimes I think they say that, while their choking on their vomit!. As for me, I’ve got wavy blonde hair; my eye color sometimes resembles ****, as in dark very dark brown!. I’m short, but lately I’ve been putting on weight, for reasons obvious!. But, my other best friend, Chelsea’s been hassling me to think positive, so I’m continuing with that ritual!.
“Kristen, Kristen! Hello!” I shook!. “****, sorry Lace!.” Suddenly the fifth block bell rang!. We grabbed our books, quickly making it to class!. As students stumbled through the door, rapidly dashing to grab desks in the back of the room, I noticed the other member of the three musketeers!. Chelsea snapped her fingers in the air, and then patted two chairs next to her, indicating that she saved us a seat!. Chelsea looked absolutely stunning with her dirty blonde highlighted hair in a long, straight pony tail, her layered ends sweeping her shoulder blades!.
She flashed me a smile, and I nodded!. Lacie strolled over, grabbed the left seat, sitting down and beginning to read over her journal presentation!. As everyone was beginning to settle down, a busy body ran through the class, just as Mr!. Kemp grabbed a stick of chalk off the ledge!. The figure obviously was in a rush, speeding right past me, and knocking me right out of my sneakers!. I shrieked, falling to the floor!. Luckily my text books broke my fall, more like broke my butt!. I felt like I no longer had any junk in my trunk!. The boy must have noticed me fall, because he immediately stopped to help me up, and grab my books and papers which went rapidly flying into the air, like a volcano spewing lava!. When I was finished scooping my notebooks into my crossed arms, I glanced up, Tall, thin yet muscular, blonde hair, blue eyes!. Mark!. Oh my god, this was like a scene in a love movie!. Dropping my books, him picking them up, he actually noticed me! Maybe, I’m not that ugly! Well, I mean, if I was, he’d obviously had just walked away!. Maybe he was just being a gentleman and he really did think I was hideous, just didn’t want to act like a dick in front of his mates!. Kristen, snap out of it!. He’s standing right in front of me, oh for the love of hot guys, what do I say!? Do I ignore him, smile, talk!? Ask him out!? No no no no noooooooooooooooooooo!. Stupid move!. Definitely not that one!. Okay, I’ll just err …
“Hi,” I whispered!.
OH MY GOD! Now I sound desperate, why did I say that! He’s probably going to turn around and walk away!.
“Hey, your Kristen right!? Listen, sorry I knocked you over, I was just scared I was going to miss Mr!. Kemps interesting punctuation lecture, he knows how much we all love apostrophes,” he whispered!.
I laughed, and then smiled!. Oh god, I think I just melted, he is amazing! Good looking, smart, kind, and he has a sense of humor too, someone call the ambulance, I think I have a love struck heart!.
“Its fine, I’m alright!. Just a bit of a !.!.!.”
He put his fWww@QuestionHome@Com