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Question: What do you think of my first chapter!?
"Cassie wake up" I said!. "Miranda leave me alone!." "Time for school!. We get a Set of twin boys this year!." She jumped out of the bed!.
Cassie starred at me and I stared back at my Twin the only difference between us was our hair and eye color!. She had Strawberry Blonde hair color and Dark Blue eye color!. I had Chocolate Hair color and Milk Chocolate eye color!.
"Dibs" She said!. "No first up first serve!." "Share!." "'Kay!."
She jumped in the shower while i fixed my hair and make-up!. "You want a ride to school today!." "Sure!. Will you fix my hair!." "Yeah!."Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's okay!. Like someone said before me, I agree that it's a little young!. You should elaborate more!. Good luck! Keep writing, it'll get better in time!.
Ha ha! my name's cassie!. That's funny!Www@QuestionHome@Com
What are the chances fraternal twins look identical minus hair and eyes!?
Here is something you need to realize:
Identical Twin look identical because they are from 1 gamete that broke sometime during development!. Meaning: 1 egg, 1 sperm, 1 set of DNA for 2 people, thus identical!.
Fraternal Twin look different, they can even be different genders!. There are 2 different gametes developing at the same time meaning: 2 eggs, 2 sperm, 2 different sets of DNA thus different looks!.
So to have 'Twins' that look identical but have different eye colours is near impossible! Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's alright for a corny 80 page pre-teen novel!. Not exactly top-notch writing quality but it could serve maybe as a 3rd grade chapter book!. I'd try to avoid cliches such as starting a novel with "Wake up" and with twins, it's really overdone!. Though this might be what you're going for, I have no idea!. It all depends on your audience!. You'll need a few more original ideas if you're looking for a more sophisticated audience!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I would try posting it on http://www!.chapteread!.com to get more feedback and advice!. I think it needs a little work and the people there could help you!. There really great about giving feedback and advice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Its ok!. I think the part where you describe the two characters could be better!. the chocolate hair and milk chocolate eyes are over done in my opinion!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
i think its cute but like she said not a very good description of the twins but maybe you can go some where! BE CREATIVE!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Seems to rough, smooth it out with more transitions and descriptors, Www@QuestionHome@Com
where you hungry tha day
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