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Question: What grage do you think I will get on this A+-F-!?
Bunnicula

This a story about a cat named Chester, and a dog named Harold who tells the story of Bunnicula, a mysterious bunny! Chester a cat that is owned by Mrs!. Monroe and enjoys reading books for she is a lawyer and Mr!. Monroe is a English teacher!. Harold is a old dog and is a great dog that is a family pet!. And Bunnicula, you will learn a lot about him in this story told by Harold that is rewritten by Emily Arceneaux!. What do you think will happen in this story!?

One day the family left Harold and Chester to go see a movie called Dracula!. But when Pete(old son), Toby(younger son), Mrs!. Monroe(mother of Pete and Toby and Mr!. Monroe(father of Pete and Toby) got back Mrs!. Monroe was holding a black and white rabbit! Pete and Toby fought over what to name the bunny and where it would sleep, And all other things brothers fight over!. But Mrs!. Monroe came up with the name Bunnicula, for they found him in the movie Dracula when Toby sat on him! Then everyone was off to bed!. The next morning Chester had a ridicules story for Harold!. He said that he saw Bunnicula put his bunny ears back and he also said that he saw a big V on Bunnicula! Harold didn’t believe Chester’s nonsense, but the way Chester told the story gave Harold a fright!. Then Chester decided to stay up every night so Harold had no one to talk to!. Plus Pete and Toby only played with Bunnicula so Harold chewed on shoes all day!. But then Chester had another weird story about Bunnicula, he said that he saw the bunny get out of his cage, without breaking wire or opening the door then he was eating out of the refrigerator! Chester also said that he almost broke his are by smacking something!. Then out of nowhere there was a sudden scream from the kitchen!. The Monroe family ran to the kitchen and there sitting in front of them was a white tomato! After all the commission about the white tomato Chester told Harold that he saw teeth marks in the white tomato then assumed it was Bunnicula!. That night Toby and Harold had a fun party in his room with yummy snacks!. After Toby went to bed Harold went downstairs to see Chester!. Chester showed Harold a book about vampires!. The book said that vampires sleep all day like the bunny, virpires have fangs like the bunny, vampires can get out of a cage by itself like the bunny, and Bunnicula was found in a Dracula movie! Harold and Chester then look for the bunny, but instead Chester found a white zucchini! That morning there was a scream from the kitchen again and everyone ran down to find Bunnicula’s dirty work there was a lot white vegetables!. Then Chester tried to be a vampire with a towel around his neck going unusual things!. But everyone thought he was cold so they put a ridiculous sweeter on him! Then that night there was a very weird smell, Harold went downstairs to see if Chester smelt it too!. And of course it was Chester, he had put garlic everywhere(there was a lot of the garlic by Bunnicula’s cage)! Chester had a garlic necklace and tried to put one on Harold, he refused!. Harold went upstairs to sleep!. Surprisingly, Harold was not awaken by a scream this time, he went downstairs to find Chester in the sink getting a bath by Mrs!. Monroe!. After Harold had a nice laugh he took a nap, but his nap was disturbed by Chester!. Chester said to get Bunnicula out of his cage, Chester then left!. Harold tried to get Bunnicula but Harold’s big head got stuck in the cage!. Chester came back with a steak and had to get Harold out of the rabbit’s cage!. He got the rabbit, Harold look at the steak and though yummy! Chester then said that to get rid a vampires powers you must drive a steak into it’s heart!. He did so, but was caught and put outside!. And Mrs!. Monroe gave Harold the steak!. Then the family enjoyed a dinner!. For many other day Chester acted like a good boy!. Harold on the other hand had become friends with Bunnicula, Bunnicula was a good listener but never talked!. But Harold noticed his little friend was sick!. That night Harold couldn’t sleep in worry of Bunnicula!. He went downstairs Harold was horrified! Chester was standing by the frig so that Bunnicula could not eat(Chester was wearing a garlic necklace)!. Harold knew that Bunnicula must eat and Harold planed to make that possible! The bunny slept during the day so Harold couldn’t help him there!. It was almost dinner and Harold didn’t know want to do, but he saw a huge bowl of salad with the weird white dressing on it!. It was almost sundown so Bunnicula would wake up soon!. Harold grabbed the bunny and put him on the table then said here is your dinner eat and I will keep watch! Bunnicula was about to take a bite of salad but then Chester jumped out of nowhere and chased the poor bunny away!. Harold did the only thing he could do and that was bark!. As Harold barked the family ran in Toby told Mrs!. Monroe that Bunnicula look sick as she was giving Chester a bath!. She said they would she the vet tomorrow!. Harold went to the vet aWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Assuming you're probably in middle school, you should get a decent grade on this paper, despite what everyone else is telling you!. I think you tried to write this well, you just aren't a very strong writer yet, but considering the garbage most people write at middle school age, I'm sure you have potential!. In your introductory paragraph, try not to repeat yourself so much!. Like the sentence, "Harold is a old dog and is a great dog that is a family pet!." Instead you could say, "Harold is the Monroe's elderly dog!." The sentence is shorter, but it stell conveys the message more eloquently!. So try to cut out things that don't need to be said!. also, I noticed you were missing a lot of punctuation!. I have a problem with putting to many commas in things, and you seem to have a problem with not putting in any commas!. Just know where there is a break in your sentences that neeeds to be seperated with a comma!.If this is just a rough draft, then have your teacher look at it, and tell you how you can improve!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

sentences are short not descriptive, no grammar repairs!. No puntuations paragraphs!. Not even a good story line!. i'm sorry to say this but a D if i were grading it!.!.!. depending on what grade you were in!. if in year 6 or 7 probably higher but highschool you fail!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

You didn't even write that! Another author wrote a kid's book just like that idea! Www@QuestionHome@Com

F!. Take a breath!. Look up the word PARAGRAPH!. For starters!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Keep working at it you'll get it, but this won't work !.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I only read the heading and I can see many sentences just thrown together with the use of the word and!. Most of the sentences were missing punctuation marks as well as the whose, who and whom instead of the use of she!. It got confusing trying to remember which she you were speaking of!. If I were your teacher I'd give you a D for the effort, if you were in middle school!. If you are in high school an F!.Www@QuestionHome@Com