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Question: Can you read my creation story!?
Okay, so I had read several short stories from the different Native American cultures about how the earth was created, and I had to make my own story "creation" of how the world was created!.!.!.so here it is:

In the wave of a magic wand the picture of the world came to life!. Matisse, is a man who has the great magical powers of creating the world and it all lyes in the palms of his hands!. In the palms of his hand he holds the most powerful weapon of all, a crayon!. Not just any ordinary crayon, it is a magical crayon waiting to draw the world!. While Matisse begins to use his great artistic powers to draw and create the world, he sends a fellow friend, named Hamen to view his wonderful creation!. As Hamen was entering the world to start his adventure, Matisse had broke the magical crayon in half !. Then, the world began to shake and tremble violently, it had cracked into seven different pieces of land, forming the seven different continents that are here today!. Matisse in a panic from breaking the crayon, he reaches over to retrieve the other half of his magical crayon, and he accidentally elbows his full glass of water and it falls and spills onto the picture of the earth!. When the water had fallen onto the picture of the world, it rained twenty for hours of day and twenty for hours a night for over a great period of time!. With all of this rain water, it had filled the the great big cracks and eventually created oceans and lakes all through out the world!. From this day on, every time Matisse makes the mistake of un-intentionally braking a piece of the magical crayon it developes earthquakes!. When Matisse looked down at this new world that he created, he felt that there was something missing and that his world that he created was empty!. Matisse then decided to create people, plants, animals and put them on this world!. He also constructed buildings out of clay for all of the people to live in!. This magical crayon had such a great value to this world, and to Matisse that he wanted everyone to experience the delight and amusement of drawing their own imaginary worlds!. He decided to make and endless supply of crayons to last forever and eternity, for the world to enjoy!.



If have any comments or anything that may help to make this story better, please tell me! Thank you!Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It is creative but be careful of repetition!.

"in the palms of his hands!. In the palms of his hand he holds!.!.!."

You also have spelling issues:
lyes should be lies

'Forever' and 'eternity' means the same thing, so using them in the same sentence is redundant!.

There are a lot of punctuation errors, too!.

And lastly, be careful of making sense!. If he is creating the world, where did a glass of water come from!?

It is a cute story!. You just need to address the errors and edit them!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very creative!. Www@QuestionHome@Com