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Question: Are the first two chapters to my book good!?
YAKUZA -X-
Chapters
1: Daikaku-ji Harvest Moon Festival
2: The Silent Waterfall



Chapter 1: Daikaku-ji Harvest Moon Festival
It was the night of the Daikaku-ji Harvest Moon Festival; all the villagers went on the annual pilgrimage to the silent waterfall to give an offering as an honor for the festival!. This time though, something horrible was going to happen!. Each year on the festival it is said that the if Dragon Yakuza X awakens and if disturbed it would destroy everything!. This year a curious Japanese boy named Hiroshi wanted to find out if this was true……”Gen! Hurry, it’s almost midnight!” Hiroshi was yearning to go to the silent waterfall to catch the dragon!. “Hiroshi, is it a good idea if we go to the waterfall!? Think about it, what if we cause something catastrophic!” All Hiroshi did was roll his eyes!. “Gen, it’s a rumor! Disturbing Yakuza X wont do anything…it’s a myth!” As the night went on all Hiroshi heard about was how this was a horrible idea!. “SHUT UP GEN! NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOU!” Hiroshi got fed up, “Fine!.!.!.” Gen decided that it wasn’t all a bad idea!. They had arrived at the waterfall!.

Chapter 2: The Silent Waterfall
“Gen, Look…!.” The waterfall started to part, all the water then stopped flowing!. Everything went silent, all the villagers fled so they wouldn’t disturb the dragon!. “Hiroshi, what is it doing!?” Yakuza X then opened its mouth revealing a set of razor sharp serrated teeth!. “Gen, don’t move a muscle, I didn’t know! I thought it was a myth…HOGO!” A burst of green light erupted from Hiroshi’s hand!. The green light blanketed Gen and Hiroshi!. “What the hell Hiroshi! Was that magic!?” “Gen, sorry to cut you short, but yes I’m a magician!. But not now, we have to go to the Yoshimizu-jinja Shrine to get a monk to stop this thing!” As the dragon shot fire balls at everyone Gen and Hiroshi fled for the shrine
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Well, I don't know where to start!.

The premise of the story is rather interesting!. The way it is told, not so much!.

There is no drama, no tension, no mystery!. Basically, you just plopped everything right there on the table!.

The writing is very elementary!. Are you still in school!? I'm guessing around 11 - 13 years old by the writing style!.

Keep practicing!. Read other books to get a feel for the art!. Read books on the craft of writing!. There are also many excellent blogs by writers you may want to check out!.

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add more detail!. Like sounds and stuffs!. hot though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com