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Question: Is this good dialogue (Read it)!?
Unknown: Hello Clarice!. Did you remember me!?
Clarice: Just leave me alone
Unknown: Did you know how much horses they slaughter just to be put into hamburgers!?
Clarice: You know your in a mental hospital for a reason
Unknown: Did you know that your mother died and left you when you were six years old!?
Clarice: (cries) Okay!. What do you want!?
Unknown: Clarice you imbecile!. I'm your conses!.
Clarice: Who are you!? Why do you freak me out!?
Unknown: Clarice once again you let the horses be slaughtered, your parents live a horrible death, and know your like me!.
Clarice: I never meant anything!.
Unknown: Clarice!?
Clarice: What
Unknown: I love youWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
There's some misspelled words and bad grammar!. But it's creepy, if that's what you were going for!. It's pretty okay!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

There are numerous errors in it; for instance: you should have written many horses rather than "much horses"; you're in a mental hospital rather than "your"; what is "conses"!? Do you mean cousin!? After "Clarise", you need a comma!. How could her parents live a horrible death!?! "and know your", your should be you're again!. After "What" a question mark,
Is the dialogue intended to be a play, not prose!? Prose requires quotation marks, as, no doubt, you are aware!. Whether it's good dialogue depends, in my opinion, where it's going, what the story will be!. You've written too little really for me to be able to critique it, although it is intriguing; I'd be interested in reading more of the story!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Do you know how much u misspelled!?!?

Here!.!.!.:

Unknown: Hello Clarice, do you remember me!?

Clarice: Just leave me alone!.

Unknown: Do you know how many horses they slaughter, just to (make one!?*) hamburger!?

Clarice: You know your in a mental hospital for a reason!.

Unknown: Do you know that your mother died and left you when you were six years old!?

Clarice: (cries) Okay!! What do you want!?!!

Unknown: Clarice you imbecile!. (or !) I'm your concience!.

Clarice: Who are you!?!! Why are you freaking me out!? **(Why are you doing this!?!!)

Unknown: Clarice, once again you're letting the horses be slaughtered, your parents *died a horrible death, and know you're like me!.

Clarice: I never meant anything!.

Unknown: Clarice!?

Clarice: What!?!.!.!.

Unknown: I love you!.!.!.



*didn't know if ya meant just one hamburger

Is he yelling the imbecile part or just being loud if so needs a !

I added an extra sentence because it seemed to fit there nicely

How can they "live" terrible death !?!?

There, In an opinion it was an awesome reading it just needed to be tweaked a little!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

that is really cool and creepy!. good job

a few things, idk if u did it on purpose or not but ill still point it out

the sentance: Did you know how much horses they slaughter just to be put into hamburgers!? doesnt really make sense!. it should be Do you know how many horses they slaughter just to be put into hamburgers!? but if u messed it up on purpose, it adds a nice creeper thing going on, so its ok either way!.

and also, is conses supposed to be Conscience!? cause conses isnt a word


but good luck! i like itWww@QuestionHome@Com

Yeah it's reallly good I really like itWww@QuestionHome@Com