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Question: It still needs editing but how does the first part of my book sound!?
Here I was, stepping off the plane in Santa Fe, my brown carpeted carry-on in my hand, not nearly as heavy as the other luggage I had brought!. This day had came too fast!. I’d been dreading this moment ever since the fight I’d had with my mom resulted in me screaming, “I’ll go live with Dad!”
My first summer in Naphtha, New Mexico was sure to be a nightmare!. I had only agreed to spend the summer with my father because my mother had just gotten married and I despised my new step-dad, Greg or Gary!. I hadn’t even bothered to learn him name!. He didn’t care about me and I sure as heck didn’t care about him!.
I made my way into the airport along with the other passengers who were anticipating a long layover!. I decided I’d go get my bags before I found my dad!. I wasn’t prepared for the painfully emotional reunion that we were sure to have!. I hadn’t seen my dad since I was eight!.
I had found most of my luggage when I felt a hand firmly grasp my shoulder!. In the self defense classes my mother had insisted I take, I had learned how to fight off an attacker!. I quickly turned around to see, who had their hand on me!. I was suddenly looking into a pair of beautiful green eyes!. Eyes that I’d only seen the last nine years in an old photograph with wore edges!. In the photo the eyes has been on the face of my father, in a tuxedo!. He had been next to my mother, on their wedding day!. His eyes seemed familiar, yet foreign to me!.
“Christy!.” My father said as he threw his arms around me in a great big hug!. I patted him on the shoulder lightly, feeling awkward!. “Chris, you’ve grown!. I can’t believe how much you’ve changed!. Its been what, nearly five years!?” I winced!.
“Nine, Dad, it’s been nine years!.” I said feeling even more uncomfortable!. He let go and took a step back!. I wasn’t the only one who’d change!. It looked like he had a lot less hair and a lot more belly than the last time I’d seen him!.
“It has!?” he said scratching his bald head!. “Well, time really does fly, Chris!.” I looked at his face to see if he felt guilty for not calling at all the last two years!. I couldn’t quite read the emotions on his face but I was sure that guilt was not there!. “You don’t know how happy Meg and I were when you called and wanted to come and live here!. I’d been meaning to call you but, like I said, time gets away from you!.” I knew that was the closest thing to an apology that I would probably get!. I hadn’t failed to notice though that he had said, Meg and I!. Who was Meg!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You've got a very good start here!. It's a little compressed right now because you're trying to get so much information in in just a few paragraphs, but you've got a very good situation and lots of ways it could be going!.
One very slight quibble I have is with the awkwardness you're having with the wedding photograph sentences!. Is this the only photo of her dad that exists around her mom's house!? Is he close enough in the photo for his beautiful green eyes to be seen clearly and outstandingly!? Familiar, yet foreign(!?)!. I imagine she'd remember more about him than his eyes, since by eight years old she should have had him pretty much memorized before he left, including his scent!.
How does he react to her whirling around, presumably in a defensive posture, at his grasp!? --Since he hasn't seen her in nine years, is he the kind of person who just reaches out and grabs the first teen whose back he sees at the airport!? Maybe he might just say her name, as a question, and see how she responds!.!.!.
Small notes, no major problems on the whole!. Very interesting!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It looks pretty good!. Try posting it on a writing site like http://www!.chapteread!.com to get more critiques and advice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I didn't read past when you said the story would be about her having an argument with her mom and going to live with her dad!. There is nothing special about that, it's a cliche and has been written hundreds of times!. Just being honest!. Www@QuestionHome@Com