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Question: For a story I'm writing, is this a good beginning!? (first two paragraphs) !?
Daydreaming can be extremely dangerous to one’s health, or at least my grades!. Sitting in this room of tedium does not make it easier to concentrate on what the teacher was lecturing about!. I stole a glance at the clock, and I realized that it had only moved a fraction of an inch in the last five minutes, or what felt like it!. My eyes took a trip around the room!. They ended at my desk and I saw imprints of writing on the flattop!. One read RG + LB = <3 and the heart was so deeply engraved, I could have lost one of my erasers if I dropped it in their!. My pencil, that was bitten almost to the core, starting tapping on my desk impatiently!. Mr!. Sattian’s voice sounded in the distance, even though he was almost a meter away from me!. “Dana, what is a proof!? … Dana!?” My teacher Mr!. Sattian questioned!. It was almost as if he was expecting the wrong answer from me, before he asked the question!. I hated him because he knew I was not paying attention and just like the malicious teacher he is, he just had to call on me!. “Dana, I’m waiting for your answer!.” I just glimpsed up and wondered why I bothered!. I would never use this in life, or for that matter, outside this classroom!.
My mouth scarcely opened and the bell rang!. Wow, just my luck; saved by the bell-totally cliché!. “Sorry maybe next time, sir,” and I grinned a diminutive smile with a snigger!. I scurried out of the classroom and I swear I felt Mr!. Sattian’s glare on the back of my head!. Glares make me uncomfortable, especially if it’s a bad one!. I knew I was walking on glass with him!.

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The downside to daydreaming is that it can be extremely dangerous to one's health, or, for that matter, maintaining a decent GPA!. It doesn't make it easy that I must sit in this classroom day after day and force myself to concentrate on the monotone lectures from my professor!. I stole another glance at the clock and realized it had only moved a fraction of an inch since the last time I looked!. Time couldn't possibly move any slower than it was now!. I scanned the room and ended up concentrating on the surface of my desk!. There I saw imprints of writing scarring the polished wood!. One of the cryptic messages read RG + LB = <3!. The heart was so deeply engraved in the desk I could have stored supplies in there if I wanted to!. I became impatient for class to end so I began tapping my severely injured pen, which I had nearly bitten to the core, on my desk to release pent up energy!. That's when my distant thoughts were disrupted by my professor's voice!. Mr!. Sattian had an obnoxiously keen radar for students who weren't paying attention!. Unfortunately, he had to pick on me as he asked, "Dana, what is a proof!? Dana!?" I believe he expected a wrong answer from me to "teach me a lesson" for not focusing on his lecture and I sincerely held a grudge against him for being so conniving just to prove a point!. "Dana, I'm waiting for your answer," he chimed again, impatiently!. I glimpsed up with a defeated look on my face wondering why I was even bothering to attempt an answer to a question I had no clue about!. What was the point anyway!? I would never use this stuff again once I passed the class!.

My mouth scarcely opened when the bell rang!. Wow, what luck!. I was saved by the bell!. (I know, totally cliche, right!?) "Sorry, maybe next class, sir," I responded with a wide, diminutive grin as I began to silently snicker!. I quickly rushed out of the classroom and felt the creepy glare of Mr!. Sattian on the back of my head!. It made me uncomfortable!. I hate glares, especially malicious glares from professors so I knew I was walking on glass!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well I like it, personally I like the descriptions and I really like the way you didn't continually repeat the same words!. Lots of spark in just two paragraphs!. Keep up the good work!Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think so Www@QuestionHome@Com

that's really good!. where's you learn to write like that!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

A bit overwritten!. It needs extensive revising for run-ons and quotes separated by paragraphs!.!.!. not just when the teacher starts speaking!. BUT overall!.!.!. not too bad!. not too bad at all!. Oh and what is COPYRIGHT supposed to mean!? Simply writing the word at the bottom of a piece of work does not protect it with a copyright!. You have to submit your work to the copyright office with the proper forms and the copyright fee!. I have several dozen manuscripts copyrighted, but I've never went to the expense of copyrighting two very badly written paragraphs!. BTW it takes a couple of months for the copyright office to reply once you've submitted your work!. Did you write this months ago!? I doubt it!Www@QuestionHome@Com