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Question: Would you read this!? What do you think!?
I'm writing a novel, and it's about a boarding school for mythical creatures (vamps, werewolves, etc!.) This is my first chapter so far, but I'm thinking it sounds a little bleak!.!.!.and well!.!.!.horrible!. What do you think:

It was a cool, clear October morning in Cleveland, Ohio, while I sat on my computer (like always) Googling the keyword Vampires waiting for something to pop up and tell me more about them!. I was your average Goth thirteen year old boy, but instead of wanting a girlfriend or Googling other such things, I wanted to be a Vampire!. I didn’t want to just live in my cave of a bedroom, hate vegetarians, and wish I were something more than human, while jamming out to my iPod all day!. I wanted to be an immortal creature of the night, stalking my prey and seducing them to my fangs (I didn’t have braces then)!. I wanted to live forever; to be something bigger than life!. I wanted to be free from time; a beast of eternal night!.
Thinking back on that now, I needed serious help!.
On Halloween of 2006, my mother came into my room and told me that if I didn’t come out of my room she would take away all my strap pants and arm warmers and I would no longer have a black room, de-Gothing me forever!. I think I actually growled at her!. I got extremely angry, feeling like a raging monster was growing inside of me, ready to lash out at any given second, threatening the people around me!.
I escaped to the safety of the woods in my backyard, sprinting until I thought I was going at least the speed of an eagle in flight!. I suddenly stopped, hearing a noise in the trees around me!. I looked around from my suddenly razor-sharp peripheral vision, and was suddenly given a burst of adrenaline from what I saw- a family of deer!. I burst into a quiet but breakneck speed sprint, pouncing on the unsuspecting deer that had now become my prey!. I bit into it’s jugular with instincts I didn’t know I had, sucking the life out of it’s warm body!.
I finished it off, then moved on to a few more until the adrenaline and rage were gone!. I sprinted back home, barely being able to breathe!. I just killed and drank the blood out of a deer!. What have I done!? What could make me do that!? What is going on!? I thought, a zillion different questions running through my head!. I went to bed extremely uneasy that night, with a small bit of thirst rising up in the back of my throat!. I drank glasses and glasses of water, but nothing would satisfy the thirst that seemed to emerge from my lungs, my heart, and…was it my mind!?
I got a letter of acceptance from the Oxford School for the Young Extraordinary the next week!. Within a month, before I knew what was happening, I was in the car for eleven hours, not asking any questions about the school that failed to appear anywhere on the internet, sent no more letters after the one paragraph acceptance letter, and my parents told me nothing about!.

There's a little more so far, but what do you think!? Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's really interesting, and I'd love to read more!!!! It sounds amazing, and a little bleakness never hurt anyone! It's not horrible, it's poetic, if slightly shocking, so write some more, and let me know when you're published!

Enjoy writing, and I hope I helped!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it! It's suspensful and sounds promising!. Good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com

i like it, sounds like a great story, i know i would read it Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think it's prettty gooddd!.
i'm 13 and writing a novel as well!
:) you're talented haha!.

but uhm!.
it's not smart to post you're writing and stuff on the internet until it's published and like has the whole copyright thing on it!.
i mean, anyone can steal this and claim it as their own right now, right!?

just a suggestion!.
good luck on your story :)

oh, btw, this guy sounds like a werewolf at some points!.
lol!. <3 :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

heyy sounds good so far!! I would read it!. email me the rest!? if ur finished!? please check my story out!? i would appreciate it!. it already has a best answer so you cant comment but maybe email me ur critique!?
Anyways good luck with everything!. 13 is a young age to publish things but if your able that would be a pretty big inspiration to everybody else out there!.
good luck!!!
xoxo <3Www@QuestionHome@Com