Who wants to read my story?

Question: Who wants to read my story!?

I've written my first story ever, and I would like some opinions on how I can improve it!.
It is (slightly!?) dark!. And I rate it PG14, as I am fourteen!.
http://www!.quizilla!.com/stories/7993707/!.!.!.
Thank-you for your time!. (:Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Your story is very good!.

I'm not even claustrophobic but when I got to the coffin part I was starting to feel a little short-winded!.

Really good job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

WoW u got talent dude! you kept me on edge through that whole thing :]! i like thrillers like that!. Goodluck

ps thanx for replying to my q aswell about the speeding thing in Japan :]Www@QuestionHome@Com