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Question: Do you think this is a good beginning to a story!?
I dribbled the ball 3 times, shot, and…!.missed!. Sheri was behind me!. She shot!.!.and made it!.
“You’re out, Emily!”, called Ashton!.
“I know…” I replied!.
I walked over to the bleachers and sat down!. That was where everyone went when their out!.
I was always the first one out!. We were playing Knockout!. In Knockout, there are 2 basketballs!. The 1st person in line tries to make a shot from the foul line!. If they make it in, they go to the back of the line!. They were successful!. That was never me!. Anyway, if you don’t make it on your first try, you can make your shot from closer up!. However, if the second person in line makes the shot before you, you’re out!. I was always the first one out, and Sheri always won!. That was the way it went at Bridgeside Middle School!.
Someday, I wanted to be the basketball champion, the one everyone admired, the way I admired Sheri!. She has never missed a basket — well at least from what I’ve seen!. Sheri was the basketball star, and everyone knew it!.!.but don’t get me wrong, she isn’t stuck up about either!.
Coach Decker blew his whistle!. Time for a new game!. I looked around me!. Everyone – well minus Sheri – was sitting down with me!. I didn’t even notice!.!.I guess I was too busy in thought!.
I got up to line up for the new game, but before I could, the bell rang!. I grabbed my bag, and ran out of the gym!. My next class was halfway across the school, and Bridgeside is a BIG school!. I didn’t want to be late!.
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
TELL ME WHAT U THINK!

We were really playing knockout in school 2day, and i wuz the first one out!.!.!. :(
anyway, it just came to me!.!.!.tell me wut u think!Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
omg!! i totally love it! it's really good!. e-mail the whole story when your finished!.

i have you on my contacts!Www@QuestionHome@Com

its really good! but a little choppy, try making your sentences more different lengths, but it is a nice start so keep going!Www@QuestionHome@Com

it is pretty good maybe more discriptive words and a few grammatical fixtures!. Its great otherwiseWww@QuestionHome@Com

Sounds decent!. Try to be more descriptive, and I don't mean about the game!. Good start though!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

I don't think u should describe the concept of knock Its 2 much extra detail that makes the reader loose interest!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

first of all, thanks for answerein my question!. and i was thirteen by the time i wrote it down and i changed a lot of things, and added in the stuff about whats his face!. but yea, um one of my friends had just died and i wanted to honor him, i think i'll add more wyatt into the story, because wyatts personality is based on scotty's, and his looks are to!. but scotty died from a freak accident, not a shooting!.


yours is really good!. im not crasy about b-ball!. i like soccer and track better!. but the story was good!. it sounds like something one of my friends would read!. email it to me when your finished!. and i'll give it to her!. she likes that kinda stuff:) and i liked ot to!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

I liked it, but isn't there a five minute bell so that you can get changed before you go to your next class!? Well, there is at my school, at least, so yeah!. I liked it though!. I started to loose interest a little bit, but it was good!. (Not enough for me to stop reading it, the starting to most stories are boring, I think!.!.!.)
(Thanks for ansering mine)Www@QuestionHome@Com