I've been working on a children's story mostly aimed toward the 1st through 3rd grade age group!. So far I only have one chapter written!. I plan on having at least 8 chapters!. The story is called "The Day It Rained Chocolate Chips" Please tell me what you think of my story and if you think any changes need to be made!. Please read the story below
Sadie was so excited it was her birthday and she was turning eight years old!. Sadie's mom decided to let her have a few friends over for her birthday!.
Since Sadie loved chocolate, she wanted everything for her birthday party to be chocolate!. So her mom made a chocolate cake with dark chocolate icing, chocolate milkshakes with mint flavoring, chocolate biscuits with melty, gooey chocolate chips in the middle, and chocolate ice cream!. Even the balloons at her party were chocolate brown!. No matter how much chocolate Sadie ate, she could never get enough!
That afternoon Sadie's two friends Piper and Riley arrived first to the party!. When they arrived, Sadie was upstairs in her room!. She could smell the sweet aroma of chocolate all the way upstairs!. Every single room in the house was filled with the wonderful scent of chocolate!. That smell made Sadie so happy because the smell of chocolate has always made her feel so good inside!.
After everyone arrive, Sadie and her friends were talking, laughing and eating some chocolate biscuits while waiting for Sadie's mom to bring out the chocolate cake!. Her mom then peeked her head out of the kitchen and yelled, "It's time!" Sadie and her friends then gathered around the table!. Sadie's mom placed her cake down on the table!. The flame on the candles flittered and crackled as everyone at the table recited the "Happy Birthday" song!. Her mother knelt down beside her and kissed her on the cheek!. "Make a wish sweetie," she whispered, cuddling her!. "Okay mommy!" Sadie closed her eyes and wished as hard as she could!. A moment of silence filled the room!. "What should I wish for," she thought!. I want to wish for something chocolatey, she thought!. How about chocolate cows!? No!. Chocolate dinosaurs! No!. Hmmm! After a brief moment of thinking, something magical popped into Sadie's head!. Without a second thought, Sadie made her wish "I wish it would rain chocolate chips!" She then took a deep breath, blew out her candles, and opened her eyes!. Everyone clapped!.
Sadie's mom then cut the chocolate cake and served it to everyone!. Since it was Sadie's birthday, she got the biggest piece!. Sadie took a fork to her piece of cake and put a piece of the cake in her mouth!. The chocolate icing melted in her mouth!. Sadie savored every bite from her chocolate cake!.
After Sadie and her friends ate, it was then time to open presents!. Everyone then gathered around in a circle!. Sadie excitedly opened her presents one by one!. She was very happy with all of her presents that she got!. Her most favorite present was from her friend Hannah who gave her a book about cooking with chocolate!.
It was then time to play games!. They played Twister, Pin the tail on the donkey, Simon Says, Duck Duck Goose and the last game was to break the pinata!. All of Sadie's friends were in line trying to break the pinata but no one could break it!. Finally, it was Sadie's turn!. After three swings of the stick, Sadie finally broke the pinata and chocolate candies flew everywhere! Everyone was so excited!.
That night after Sadie's birthday party Sadie was getting ready for bed!. Sadie's mom came into Sadie's room to tuck her in and talked to Sadie about her birthday party and she asked Sadie "so what did you wish for!?" "Can't tell!." Sadie answered!. "It won't come true if I do!." Sadie's mom smiled kindly and then tucked Sadie in, kissed her on the forehead and turned out the lights!.
Said laid in her bed thinking about her birthday party and birthday wish!. She then grabbed her favorite teddy bear and clutched it close to her body!. She then looked out her window at the moon and stars and she said to herself "WOW I wonder what it would be like if my wish came true!?" She then closed her eyes and took in the aroma of the chocolate that still filled the entire house!. She went to sleep that night thinking about chocolate
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