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Question: EDITED:do you think this is a good beginning for my book!?
I was born in a world where humans were nothing but food!. where even the smallest of kids had to watch their steps, most of the time you were lucky to live past 20!. Humans lived in nothing more than a village made up of tree houses and temporary setalments!. while they lived in huge high tech city's, filled with luxuries we couldent even imagine having!. we were so diffrent, but we have one saying in common though; Ker aloe meiri: Kill or be killed!.

My names kerrimara agromer , but most people just call me kerri for short!. I live in the village of Ranoth garo: bloodpine, my village was named after a scary looking tree with red leaves, and sap that was deadly to everyone and everything!. Our village was known for its incredible fighting skills, we were the best fighters in the jungle, at least until they attacked us!. It started out as a fairly normal day for me, wake up, think about Kisten, go hunting, think about Kisten, practice fighting skills, think about Kisten!. Oh, did I mention thinking about Kisten!? well a-a-a-anyways, it started out like every other day, when the creatures of L'mos K'erma attacked!. L'mos K'erma: otherworld!. When they attacked we just came back from our last hunting trip of the day, we got back and the village was empty, blood stains everywhere, but that wasn't what we noticed first, no, we noticed the twenty or so creatures in the middle of the woods right in front of us!. And they looked hungry!.
The 12 members in the hunting party, including me, went into a deffensive crouch as we studied the group before us!. From what I could tell, there were about eight vampires, eleven shape-shifters and one demon in the mix!. I looked at each of the creatures and determined that the demon was the leader of the group!. just as i was about to turn away from him, he caught my gaze, the solid black eyes held me in place and i relized i could no longer breathe or move!. a few seconds more and i would sufficate without anyone knowing, he smiled an ice cold smile and looked away, leaving me with immediate relief!. wow, I thought, thats one powerful demon!.
I didn't look in his eyes again, insted i looked over to eric, the leader of our hunting party, only to see he was caught n the death trap I was only a minute before!. I ran over to him and shook him, it did nothing, I saw my only option and jumped at the demon, aiming for his eyes, he didnt expect that, so we both were a writhering blur on the ground!. pretty soon he had me penned to the ground with the intent to kill!.

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I enjoyed it for the most part, but the spelling and grammatical errors kinda made it hard to go on!. When posting long things on this site its a good idea to type everything into Word or Works, spell check, then copy and paste!. If you need editing help, email me!. Other than that, keep it up!. I'm intrigued which is what you want!. :-)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sorry, I couldn't get past the first paragraph!.

As soon as I saw all your spelling and grammatical errors, that was enough for me!.



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wow thats good if this is being published maybe ill get it\
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wow that was really really really gud!.!.!.!.!.!.!.i would luv to read the rest of the story

hey can u plzzzzzzz help me with my question!.!.!.!.!.!.u http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!. to be a gud writer :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow!. yeah! i actually read the whole thing!. impressive!!! except dont say aa-a-a-a-anyways because that sounds kind of dumb for a book like that!. sorry if i sound mean!. im just doing suggestions!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

No!. Your grammar and spelling skills are horrible!. The language is mostly basic and you have a lot of pronouns without antecedents!.

Nothing you said hooked me or made me want to read more!. I stopped half way through!. If I were to guess, the only people who would like this would be people who read Twilight (in other words, people with poor taste and a lack of appreciation for good writing)!.Www@QuestionHome@Com