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Question: Would you keep reading!?
This is the beginning of a story that I'm writing, comments would be nice!.

I woke up suddenly and looked over at the alarm clock on my nightstand!. It was 2:34 am!. Why did I have to be such a light sleeper!? I tried to go back to sleep, but I wasn’t feeling tired at all and I thought I would just go downstairs and watch some TV!. I stood up and crept silently across the old hard-wood floor to the other side of my room and stopped by the window to look outside into the dark night!. From here, you could see the full moon shining down on the forest and casting shadows and silhouettes onto the grass just outside my window!. Nighttime was so beautiful to me, but I still tried not to look out there for too long because my imagination can get a little crazy and I usually end up scaring myself!.
I kept looking anyways though and I really did see something creeping across the yard!. There was the shadow of a small person gliding towards the woods!. Startled, I kind of jumped awkwardly, blinked, and while wondering who could be outside in the middle of nowhere at 2:30 in the morning, I moved a little closer to the window!. I found out that I was watching my 6-year-old sister slowly advance towards the woods!. So much for watching TV!.
Quickly and quietly, I put a sweatshirt on (because it was chilly for a May night in Virginia,) and rushed downstairs to go find my crazy little sister!. I grabbed the flashlight off of the kitchen table before I stepped out the side door and closed it behind me!. It slammed and I realized that the door was what probably woke me up!. I stopped to let my eyes adjust a little before I turned on the flashlight and started towards the woods!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
the beginning is nice and in most parts you really paint a picture for me!.

however,
i felt this sentence didn't make sense!.
or perhaps just didnt seem right!. partly because with old hard wood floors i make more of a connection with the floors creaking , not Silence!.

"I stood up and crept silently across the old hard-wood floor to the other side of my room and stopped by the window to look outside into the dark night!. "

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this sentence, i feel was my favorite!. created a perfect image in my mind!.

"From here, you could see the full moon shining down on the forest and casting shadows and silhouettes onto the grass just outside my window!."

--------------------------------------!.!.!.

I seemed to get lost in this sentence for some reason!.
maybe if you worded it a little differently!?

[this part is fine]
"Nighttime was so beautiful to me,"

[This part Needs help]
but I still tried not to look out there for too long because my imagination can get a little crazy and I usually end up scaring myself!."

instead of "get a little crazy" you could reword it for something like, your mind wanders!. or leads you places!.!.!.!.!.

im not sure!.!.


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other then that i think so far its an interesting story and i would definitely keep reading!.


Www@QuestionHome@Com


This is good, I like it!. I keep reading to find out what happened!. There is suspense here and I want to know and try to solve the mystery in my head!. Nice story, keep writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com