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Question: Is this a good foundation to write a book on!?
What if I had been born just 5 minutes later!? Thats the single question I ask myself every
day!. Would i be totally different, or the same in some ways, yet different in others!? That
question is where my story begins!.
You see, it all started one day in the seventh grade!. February 7, to be exact!. I couldn`t
sleep the night before, let`s just say I had a lot on my mind!. Technically, that`s the
truth!.
I`m that girl that everyone sees as different!. They just can`t quite put their finger on
how!. I`m the girl that`s seen as the school whore!. Although, i can`t really tell you why,
considering I`m a virgin!. I had to get out!. Somehow, one way, or another!. So, I made the
worst decision I`ve ever made!. And it only made it worse!.
I decided to bring class 4 narcartics (aka: Xanax) to school that morning!. That, along
with 6 other kinds of pills, that, if taken, had the ability to be coma-inducing!. If more
than one was ingested, they could kill someone!.
Finally, 2nd period arrived!. That`s the class where everyone gets a bathroom
break!. So me, my boyfriend, and one of my best friends, stayed behind!. My boyfriend walked
across the room, and brought back a girl`s bookbag!.
She was sort of my friend!. Or so she thought!. She was bisexual, and thought that I felt
the same way!. Wrong!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Amazing!. I'd read it if you wrote it!. I don't have a title idea for you, but I think it should have to do with growing up and learning about life, of course!. Or, if you're basing the book around the "five minutes later" thing, then that could be the title, "Five Minutes Later"!. Or something along those lines!. ;)
I'm so sorry this happened to you, but yes, it's an awesome foundation!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
hm!. a little confusing at the start; i dont really understand what happened with the pills!.!.!. but still a good idea to base a story on!. it could go far :)
as for the title perhaps something simple like 'five minutes!.'
good work, i hope to see it on the shelves one day!
p!.s you say it's a true story!. not to pry or anything but is it about you're life!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Very interesting story to expand on, especially the qusetion!. It applies to everyone and it's really something to think aboutWww@QuestionHome@Com
The beginning of the story was compelling enough for me to keep reading!. But it quickly became convoluted and confusing!.
You need to know the difference between 'making sense in your head' and 'making sense to the reader'!.
It seems that there are a lot of things that YOU know the background of and are not conveying it to your readers!.
You seem to add a lot of elements that have nothing to do with the story!.
Know when to use 'me' or 'I',
The format is strange!. Are you pressing 'enter' instead of 'space'!?
Like I said, I liked the start!. I'm not into depressing, suicidal teens stories that seems to abound here on YA!. Maybe someone who likes that kind of story can give you better insight!.
Edit:
Chammy, I am not talking about the idea of the story!. I figured that out!. The point is, is that a readers should not have to figure out what the writer is trying to say!. A skilled writer would have the readers so involved in the story that they would not even be aware of the writer!.
What I'm talking about is:
What was the girl's bag doing still left behind in the classroom when she is already gone!?
What does the best friend staying behind have to do with anything!? It was never addressed!.
If the teacher was in the room, why didn't he see what they were doing!?
What does being bisexual have to do with anything!?
How is the writer taken from the school to the police station to a juvenile center and NO PARENTS ARE EVER INVOLVED!?
Just to name a few!.
The first few sentences had me thinking that this was going to be a really good mystery, not a woe-is-me story!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I dont know how anyone could not understand that, I did without trouble!.!.it was very simple, girl takes drugs to school that are dangerous, trys to get another girl into trouble, hides drugs gets caught out, sent to jail, sent to youth center, etc
umm!. not really compelling for me im more for fiction like the crazy speculative stuff =]
-cam
hope it turns out well though, If I see it on shelves ill read it though =] seems an alright non-fic and yes its a very good base for the story you just gotta write the structure first!.!.if you dont know what that is!.!.send me an email!.!.id be happy to explain and help =] [=Www@QuestionHome@Com
Any kind of creative art ought be very personal to the author till it is complete and ready to be reviewed and commented upon or to be edited!. What I see here is you want the opinions from some premises which may not be the final and full!. So it is very difficult for a reviewer!.
Some might say that it is a good story, and I have no doubt that you do write well but I think you ought to have some sort of self confidence that you can do it and others will like it!.
I would like you to complete the story and then send it to the sites which offer free reviews of your work!.You might be surprised that the reviewers had shattered my hopes when I first sent my story of some serious reviewing but it was a long way back and now I have 49 printed and ebooks!. I have left asking for others' opinions because I know that I can do it!.
Yes, I do get my works edited for some typos or grammatical blunders!.
God bless you
Rajasir
http://rajasir!.comWww@QuestionHome@Com