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Position:Home>Books & Authors> Please read and give some feed back?Question: Please read and give some feed back!? Constructive criticism ONLY please!. I can take criticism, but there is no pint if I'm not going to learn from it!. Keep in mind, I wrote this when I was twelve!. It's not the entire story because I forgot about it, and I only just found it!. =] Thanks!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Your descriptions and phrasing are great!. But, the thoughts are scattered!. The story seems just a thought process with no order!. No questions answered just a lot of guessing!. Who!? what!? when!? etc!.!.!.!.!.!.If the story teller knew what she or he was trying to say, it would be good!. !.!.!.!.!.!.!."The unison of a pack of wolves has never been questioned!. It has always been that they were one!. “We” was only a recent word they had discovered; “I” was always the term!. But many things changed when they found their other form!."!.!.!.!.!. This is a great, very great way to write!.It is what I think is your special talent!. I would say you have a way with words, which is very important!. It would be so good to use it at the very beginning of the story to tell the readers, who, what, etc!. It sets-up the pace, the mystery, the mood and your styling of words!. I would love to know how a pack of wild wolves started to slowly find out that they were human and how the were not!. How this would change their opposites!. How it would affect their interactions with each other, and then how it all comes together in your wonderful mind!. CGWww@QuestionHome@Com I don't know how old you are now, but it you wrote this when you were twelve, you have great potential!. Granted, the writing is a bit disoriented, but the imagination and creativity can be seen!. No doubt your writing skills have improved by now, and I'm sure your still have the same imagination and creativity!. That makes for a great combination!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I can't exactly say when I started getting into this whole werewolf thing but I am and I have to admit you did a really fine job!. I was taken in immediately and though there is a bit of a organizational problem I was still very interested in the story!. I liked the history of the pack and wanted to know exactly why Brown wasn't with her mother!. It fed the reader enough basic answers, gave us some juicy story and left us wanting to know more!. I really liked the descriptions you used!. It was succinct writing!. The words you chose and organized evoke very specific images for me!. In the dead of night, pitch black in a new moon, the soft beat of running was the only sound competing against the low moan of the wind!. The rhythm was furious, concealing the noises of any other motion!. This was best!. That was a very powerful paragraph for me!. J!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |