i am in grade 11!.!.!.and this is my english assignment!. i had to write a personal narrative that had an impact on my life!.
i would just like to know if it is descriptive/imagery, creative and catches attention!.
i welcome all suggestions but please don't leave rude comments!.
lol!.!.!. it's not as long as it looks
thankyou!.
I force my eyes to stay open, against the wishes of strong blowing winds!. If my eyes were fully open, they would glitter expressing my excitement, they would reveal the smile on my face and show the action I am living in!. I wear a pink and blue costume and I’m flying in the air at the speed of light, overlooking the crowded streets of India!. Someone is in need of help and who else could solve the problem but me! I am -
“So how far is it!?” I hear a familiar voice and I come back to reality!. The real life isn’t much different!. My eyes are still strained, my hair still frisks in the air and I am still very fast!. The only thing that has changed is that I wear casual jeans with a red top and instead of swimming in the air, I’m on my bike!. also, no one is waiting for my help, unless you consider the Cadbury KitKat dreading to be devoured by me and my 7 year old cousin who sits behind me!.
“Not far,” I tell him, “Arjun, don’t you think there should be more Super Heroines!?”
“I like Superman!” he answers me and pulls his chin up as if he is Superman!.
“That’s a hero! Not a -” I don’t finish my sentence!. It’s no use!. I’d tell him that superman is not a Super Heroine and he will argue that he is just because there is the word Super in Super Heroine!. After few minutes he’d agree with me but then, he would want more details on a heroine - beginning his series of questions!. So, I ignore him, like I was in the beginning and start imagining myself as Tavleen the saviour!.
I think I have got closer to the Doctor’s office as I hear a scream!. I always heard people yelling from this clinic, most of them kids!. I wondered what they did to the kids in there!. I never went to that doctor!. I hated him!.
“Hey! The kid!!” A bulky man in a white car, which was a little too small for him, yells at me with fear in his eyes!. Before, I could understand his reaction, Arjun pinched my waist!.
“Anya!!!!” he squalls
In an instant, I bring my bike to a halt and his scream rings in my ears more loudly as if he didn’t want me to pull the breaks!. I turn to look at him!. His face is red as a tomato, tears flow through his eyes so fast that they look unreal!. His cheek muscles flex when he opens his mouth to let out his pain!. He has one hand on his waist and the other one holds his left knee!. I drag my eyes from his knee to his foot!. In a reflex, my eyes open wide and a tingle runs from my head to toe!. I can feel myself turn as white as snow and I can’t move!.
“Arjun! Tie your laces!. NOW!” my aunt ordered him!.
“Maaaa,” Arjun whined, “we are just going to the Candy shop!”
“Arjun!” Aunty sang his name and gave him the look!. My aunt was quite young and one of the most beautiful ladies I had seen!. She wasn’t usually so strict!. In fact, she always played games with us and laughed along!. She was quite entertaining!. Nevertheless, whenever it came to safety, it was no game!. It had something to do with her “reckless” childhood, “Anya, he is not going anywhere until he ties his laces!.” And she left!.
“Go! Go! Go!” I took his hand and ran to the veranda to get on my bike!. We could always tell aunty that he had his laces tied!. I could hear Arjun giggle when I started pedalling!.
“Hey!” a young man runs up to me and gives me a jolt!. I realise that few other people are trying to pick Arjun up!. I look at his foot again and the queasy feeling returns!. One of his shoe laces drapes the chain of my bike and his foot has been pulled into the wheel!. It looks like a completely different part, divided from the foot!. Tears of blood drop from his shoe, it looks as if his foot has shrunk, and the shoe flooded with blood!. I can’t look at it anymore, I’m sure I will throw up!. I close my eyes and try hard to hold back the inevitable tears!.
***
“You Okay!?” my oldest Cousin, Ritu, hands me a glass of water!. I look at her with a question in my eyes, “He will be Okay,” she answered my unheard question, “As long as he gets a candy at the end of all this!.” She smiles!. I don’t!. Will he ever feel safe to go out with me again!? Does he think I’m a coward because I didn’t go to see him at the hospital!? Will he ever forgive me!? Will Aunty ever forgive me!?
I sit on the couch, hugging my knees, when I hear the car doors slam shut!. Uncle enters with Arjun in his arms!. He looks like a wilting flower and I can’t say if it is out of pain or from being near me!. I cling to one side of the couch and I didn’t meet anyone’s eyes!. ____________________!. When uncle puts Arjun down on the couch across me, I take a quick glance at his foot!. It looks much better now - Clean!. A thick sterile gauze holds his foot keeping it safe and together!. Aunty takes a sWww@QuestionHome@Com