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Question: What do you think of this writing!?
GRASS
Each blade of grass whispered in the wind as they danced and swayed!. I looked down to my hands they were dry and cracked, I could not look at them for very long as for I knew that these hands will never be held by anyone so it does not matter to me what shape they exist in!. The pools of rain water were disturbed as I set my feet into them!. I could feel the water seep into my sneakers and slowly absorb into my socks!. Rain drops fell from the heavens and gave life to my dry hands!. My hair hung low off my head, wet!. The rain drops descending from the gray almost apocalyptic looking sky, but I somehow felt that I could relate to it, Began to cover my face hiding the tears that were rushing down my cheeks!. There were no trees, no animals, no people!. Just grass as far as the eye could see or bare!. Just like those summer days I would spend staring at the clouds with my body stretched across the grass as the wind would make them sway and dance they would whisper their secrets to into my ears, I would be their friend and they would be mine!. I lied down onto the wet grass and began to watch the gray clouds dispense their rain and strike the land with their thunder and lightning!. The grass was now quiet, "Sleep well my friends"!. I said!. I shut my eyes and began to think when I would see my friends again as I drifted off into a deep slumber!.

I wrote this a while ago, I'm just wondering what people think of it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
wow, it is amazing, the imagery is beautiful without being overdone!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You're getting close to purple prose, there!. You're also telling me way too much and diffusing any tension or emotion out of the piece, show me more!. It's a huge chunk of dense text with no white space and you need to work on the grammar and punctuation!.
That said your descriptions are ok and the sentiment is there!. It just needs a little work!.

Ape!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really like this idea!. Brief suggestions!? Revise a little!. Watch your punctuation!. Show me, don't tell me!.

This is like a prose poem more than a story!. I think your last line is "The grass was (is) now quiet!."Www@QuestionHome@Com

Some parts are very well written, while other parts start to get incredibly repetitive!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sorry, the grass bored me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

What time was it!? 420!?Www@QuestionHome@Com