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Question: Is this story intriguing!?
Very long, I know!. Sorry! But I want to know!.!.!. would you read more of this story!?

Italics are in these: **

*Thud!. Thud!. Thud!.*

Was it the sound of the footsteps gaining on me that was thudding in my ears, or merely my heart pounding loudly, desperate to break out of my chest and save itself!? Did it honestly matter!? Either way, I was going to die in a few minutes time!. The thought was clear, as plain as day, and not at all comforting!. What, in truth, was at all positive about ones life coming to an end!? Maybe, for some people, it was an end to a torturous thing, and for others, just the start of a new adventure!.

I had always viewed life as a vast ocean!. There were waves, currents, and other difficulties, but the boat that was an individual’s life continued on its trek towards the end… the horizon!. Sometimes, a difficulty was too much for the boat and it sunk prematurely!. Other ships got lost in the fog and faded from life, having made bad choices and not strived to be set back on the track!.

I had never imagined the ending of my insignificant little boat’s journey, however!. It had always just been an inevitable truth I never really thought about, like the average person’s view on a sunset!. It just *happened*!. You didn’t question it, didn’t think about it or look forward to it, and most certainly didn’t imagine it!. It was just another fact of life, the last fact, really!. Because after that, there wasn’t anymore life!. Oh, sure, there was an afterlife most likely, but you weren’t living and breathing on earth anymore!.

*Thud!.*

I was forced to think about it now!. How could I not, when the last few minutes of my life were stretched in front of me like a brief length of sea, before the nearing horizon that would surely swallow me up!? There were no clouds obscuring my view; all my choices, all my mistakes, had been made!. The currents all pointed in one direction!. Only, if by some freak chance, something altered my pursuer’s track of mind, would I survive!. That was as likely as me sprouting wings, though, and I refused to hope!.

Hope, after all, only got one so far in life!. It was always good to hope, to some extent, to keep living for a reason!. However, after that, hope was just something that hurt you!. One would build it up, get their expectations high, and then reality brought it crashing down around their ears!. And yet, the silly humans continued to reconstruct their lives and do the one thing that could make the pain worse!.

*Thud*!.

There would be no pain, after this last crash!. It was it for me!. I would move on, into the beyond, past the horizon!. Sure, death itself would be painful, judging by the knife my pursuer brandished!. But, most likely, it would be swift!. The equivalent of a particularly nasty shot, only intensified!. It was only in the movies that victims had drawn out deaths so that they could bid farewell to their loved ones!.

I had no loved ones left in my life, so there was no reason to draw out something that could be so quick, so easy!. All it took was one carefully placed stab, a moment of pain, and then… there wasn’t anymore ocean to cross!. I would have reached the place beyond that, a place that many think about and yet no living person really knows!.

Did I look forward to this beyond, to death itself!? Not really!. It seemed as if my boat had only traveled a bit of the way it was originally meant to!. Had I been cheated by fate, by that chance meeting in London!? Had it been entirely my fault, by giving into sudden impulses!? Or, maybe, I wasn’t meant to live past such a young age!. Maybe my ocean had never been that vast in the first place!. After all, with my lifestyle, one surely couldn’t have been expected to live to a ripe age!. Add my new associations into the mix, and my death could have been predicted for six months from now!. They wouldn’t have been that far off!.

*Thud*!.

Its funny, or maybe not so, that the most important moments of ones life seemed to happen in slow motion, really passing rather quickly!. And still, one remembered every single detail!. Their outfit, how their day had been going, what color the sky was, the day of the week, the smells surrounding them… Each little thing stood out, sharply, in their memory!. Even if they didn’t have much long to live after these events!.

That’s how this next heartbeat passed for me!. One moment, I was still hopelessly fleeing, sweat streaming down my face, dark hair flying behind me!. The next thing I knew, the world had disappeared from beneath my feet, clad in ratty sneakers!. I clearly remember the feel of the cool earth beneath me when I landed, hard, on my stomach!. The odors surrounding me were of sweat, trees, rain, that lovely aroma of chocolate that hadn’t quite faded from my navy sweatshirt!. And, of course, the floral scent of my pursuer!.

I had tripped!. Out of all the badly timed moments of clumsiness in my life, this bested them all!. And now, breathing hard, I rolled over on my back, barely darWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
!.!.!.barely dar!? Come on! What happens next!?

It's!.!.!.philosphical!. You're a really good writer and you've definitely built up the suspense but I'd chop off some of the wisdom if I were you!. I was hooked, good job! You left me wondering what was happening and what was going to happen!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

you lost me in the second paragraph, i didn't know what you were talking about, but its good!.


you are a good writer but it was confusing some how!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

Ooh, nice story! I LOVE how it relates life to the ocean and boats! Thats pretty cool!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'd read it if it were shorter, but I like your boat imageryWww@QuestionHome@Com

You said it! Now that's a long story!. I think I'd read more of the story!. I would read the 'cut down version' on the back of the book to see if it was the kind of story to interest me!. If I had an inkling that everything would be that drawn out, it would have to be a subject of interest or I wouldn't bother!. But for those that enjoy a bit of the ol' suspense!.!.!.you've certainly managed that!.Www@QuestionHome@Com