i'm an upcoming author (i hope) and i need someone to tell me how good it is!. here it is:
Vampire Moon
Prologue
Twilight is a world where the sun never shines!. The moon is purple and he sky is red!. A few stars are shining at one time!.
My name is Iva!. I’m an Ice Vampire and my favorite color is blue!. I live alone in my castle!. Wherever the moon shines my castle will stand!.
The moon got its name from this power!. Many call it Vampire Moon!. Although there is magic, my friend lives in her castle on the moon!. Her name, coincidentally, is Moon!. She is a vampire as well and like the color white!.
It has been said she is evil, but I know better!. If she turns evil then I will follow her!.
I have a twin sister named Willow!. Our mother was a human and our father was a vampire!. Willow received the human genes as I the vampire!.
Vampires must find a human mate before they turn twenty or they will die!. When a vampire drinks their mates blood it gives eternal life to both and bond them forever!.
Werewolves, though, must find a demon mate to stay alive!. If two werewolves to be mated, then they would tear each other apart when the moon shines full!.
A vampire will have a favorite color and it decides what power they have or what type of vampire they are!. Moon is an Air Vampire!. She can bend air into any form!. This simple pattern exists in werewolves and demons as well!.
Humans do not follow this pattern!. Some humans maintain magic and their favorite color depicts what type of magic they use!. Willow likes pink; therefore she can transform into anything she wants!.
Moon has already found a mate!. His name is Ginji!. He likes green and controls weather!. I know him well because we were good friends as children!.
As for me I have yet to find a mate!. I’m eighteen right now so that gives me two more years!. Lucky for Moon she is nineteen!.
I’m at a tournament that takes place in a desert!. If you win, you will get twenty silver pieces and my battle has just ended!.
Blade
I sheathed my sword and walked away from the bloody scene!. I could hear the whooping of the crowd at my defeat!.
Moon walked up to me with Ginji at her side!. Both were clad in armor ready for battle!.
Moon was the first to speak, “He didn’t have to die!. It’s a pity what he paid to be in this tournament!.” I scowled at her!.
I began to clean my sword and murmured, “Whatever it was he was glad to give it up!. Besides, humans are a disgusting race!.” Ginji turned red!. He defends his race and gets irritated a lot!.
He turned to me and yelled, “Humans are no dirtier than vampires are!” I grabbed Ginji by the shoulder and walked with him to the rink!.
I could tell he was tense when I said, “If you want to prove it so much why don’t we battle it out!?”
Moon ran to stand between us, “No Iva! Somebody must die in every battle!. I don’t want either of you to get hurt!” I knew Moon would feel this way!. Everyone takes me too seriously anyway!.
The announcer broke the silence, “Next up we have the human Ginji! His main ability is controlling weather!. He will be fighting the Light Werewolf, Lily! This battle will be weapons only!.”
I heard Ginji gulp as he moved to the rink!. Lily looked several feet taller than Ginji!. Her helmet was in her hand and sword at her waist!. She had orange eyes and blonde hair!.
Moon rested her head on my shoulder so she couldn’t see!. I looked up from my sword to watch the battle!. I’m surprised Moon did not know the loser would be revived!.
Lily put her helmet on and pulled out her sword!. Ginji signaled to the announcer that he was ready!. The announcer dropped a piece of cloth to start the battle!.
Ginji swung at Lily, but only to hear the clash of metal as Lily blocked the blow!. Ginji fell back and Lily took her chance!.
She dove at him and Ginji moved just in time!. Lily’s sword was stuck in the ground!. Ginji did not want to win to a petty failure so he waited for Lily to pull her sword out!.
Lily threw another blow at Ginji and his armor snapped!. Ginji jumped to the side and stabbed Lily in the back!. She fell to the ground and the crowd roared into a cheer!.
The announcer called some healers to revive Lily and handed Ginji a bag of twenty silver pieces!. Moon ran out to him in tears!. Ginji was not prepared for the hug he received and the wind was knocked out of him!.
The announcer called out, “Now we have The Air Vampire, Moon, and the Fire Demon, Tarie! This is a magic only battle!.
Moon tossed her sword aside and walked to the rink!. Demons are quite tall, so Tarie was twice the size of Moon!. She signaled she was ready and faced Tarie, who looked quite pale!.
I wrapped my arm around Ginji to comfort him as I watched Tarie’s red hair blow into her face!. Moon’s silver hair covered her gray eyes!. I knew she was focused on Tarie’s yellow eyes!.
The battle began and Moon fired gusts of air at Tarie and ducked as Tarie shot flames to block the spell!. Moon realized she would not win this battle because air maWww@QuestionHome@Com