One off my poems!!!?

Question: One off my poems!!!!?

I hear the wind at night
I feel the pain
I feel cold, without you
I could suffer 100 times
To get to you
and what I am trying to say is
I Love You!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I love it , it makes you really feel the emotion of the passion you are having you should put it in a contest It would probably win !. You really got that poem going and add more on about why she loves himWww@QuestionHome@Com

Pretty simplistic, but cute!. It sounds like if you really want to improve your poetry, you need to start using more complex imagery and phrasings!. Don't start every line with "I [verb]", that's pretty boring!. also it's better if you write out "a hundred", although that line is vague to begin with!. And I thought the last two lines were unnecessary!. The whole point of the poem is to show your love, not tell it!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

You may have some talent, but it is still in play!.
Something is missing!.!.!.a few more lines might show the way,
to fill the missing gaps of what you try to say!.
I could attempt to rewrite it, but it is your work today
and only you know what it is you want to convey!.
By all means consider how to overcome this dismay!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It was cute but that is as far as it went for me!.
Try to go into more depth with your emotions, allude to what you mean without spelling it out bluntly, lose the exclamation marks and spell your numbers!.
I would love to read a revised edition!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

!.!.!. I'm not really feeling it!.
A poem should guide you towards what it's saying, not tell you flat out - it's subtle, basically!.
Your words didn't speak to me!.
I just really!.!.!. didn't like it at all!.
Sorry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very Pretentious!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

romantic!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

aw thats really cute :]
Www@QuestionHome@Com

http://answers-video!.com/answer9808!.htmlWww@QuestionHome@Com