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Question: Anyone want to read my story!?
They smile at each other!. No words are spoken and no sounds are made!. They simply look into each other’s eyes and felt something!. Chills were sent through her spine from her heart!. She never felt this way with anyone else!. As the stiff wind blew, he embraces her in his strong arms!. She imagines a big neon sign pointing above them in a shape of a heart!. The sunny day ends perfectly!. They watch the sun set under the mountains and soon into the water!. Darkness begins to flow into the screen and the curtains fall!.
I met you in the month of June
From then on, to see you was never too soon
You sold coffee at a coffee stand
And I sold toffee at a toffee stand
Our stands were side by side
But I felt as if the space was too wide
You have been heart broken before
So I knew what I had in store
But nothing could stand in the way of my dreams
I could do nothing to stop it, or so it seemed
That girl that broke you heart
You were too good for her from the start
The day I felt that we really clicked
We saw that one dolphin do a dolphin kick
Spending the whole day together felt like forever
But when I wanted it to end was never
The time we spent with one another from then on
Made me think of no other name than your name Sean
I knew you still loved her, but what was I to do
I knew you still loved her, but what was I to do
When my love for you grew and grew
One day we were going down a road in a car
About to drive toward the shooting of the stars
But this one day I will never forget
Something that we will always make us regret
The car’s tires screamed with lungs of a little girl
The car swirls like swirls coming out of an ice cream machine
And I thought to myself this is it Christine
Before coming to a complete stop
I literally felt my heart drop
My neck too stiff to move
This fate of ours seemed unable to remove
As I slowly looked down below
The sound of the river with rocks like knuckles began to grow
As we hung half way off a cliff
My eyes could not help themselves as I shot out tears and a sniff
Looking back at it now, Sean and I realize that we were a lucky pair
Nothing else besides us could compare
We were rescued that day by the fire firefighter
From then on, our bond could not have been tighter
So from that day on, Sean realized what was love
It wasn’t the love that girl was unworthy of
It was the bond we shared
It was the things that took us unprepared
That girl slowly disappeared out of his life
And I became his wife
The moral of the story is to not look into your past
But to make your current love last, last, and last
Our only regret was the time we lost
And that was the one and only cost
We drive to the beach for our daily sunset watch and Sean embraces me in his strong arms!. We watch the sun set under the mountains and soon into the water!. Darkness begins to flow into the screen and the curtains fall!.
The story has a happy ending, but the tone is sad because I was inspired by a broken heart!. Enjoy!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
yea!? what's your question!? I read it, now how could I possibly answer a screen play that I guess supposidly takes the form of a poem!.!.!.!.
Here's some tips don't rhyme every sentence with the next one, here's an example:
You sold coffee at a coffee stand
And I sold toffee at a toffee stand
If you want to make it sound more realistic you've got to cut it in half, ryhme every other instead of every singel one, here's an example:
You sold coffee at a coffee stand
I sat there and watched you from across the road
And I sold toffee at a toffee stand
We would sit in our stands, our own aboad
Etc!. basically it gives it more flare, I suggest occasionally ryhmeing two sentences together, one after another, but not for every single one!. It makes it seem so cut and dry with such short ryhming!. Re-write the story except for the beggining and end where you don't rhyme because those parts were good!.
I guess this is my answer!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
They smile at each other!. No words are spoken and no sounds are made!. They simply look into each other’s eyes and felt something
its better if describe because writers describe not tellWww@QuestionHome@Com
I think that was great I could tell that it was written from the heart of a person who had their heart broken and drew strength from a personal experience to write a great piece of workWww@QuestionHome@Com
its awesome :) Www@QuestionHome@Com
Excellent! I liked the rhyming words very much!. You've talent and I guess you'd make a good author!. Any influences!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
You have talent!. Keep writing!. You'll get far!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it!. It's different and I think you have something here!. You should post it on http://www!.chapteread!.com to some more feedback!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Wow, it's really cool :) You have a talent! :*Www@QuestionHome@Com
that's a pretty good storie =]Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it!.!.!.it's very good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Poem or story haha, just messing with you, an awsome story, :] Your going to go far!.
This is a part of mine, how would you grade it!? i think its quite poor
My life felt worthless, they had taken the one thing I loved!. I had protected her all my life and now she’d gone!. Tears rolled down my face!. My emotions were lost!. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing!. I couldn’t contain my self - something had to be done!. A rustle came from my mothers bedroom, I pushed the bedroom door open, to find my enemy - the man who killed my mother; the man who killed the person I loved!. I had to do something!. I pulled my hand up and aimed!. I didn't think twice before I pulled the trigger, he crumpled to the floor!. I felt relieved that my mother’s killer was dead!.
My enemy died instantly, I had aimed where anyone would aim, I just pulled the trigger, and the bullet swirled and curled towards its destination, into his brain, his temple through the front and out the back of his ear!. Blood splattered everywhere; it went on the wall and stained my mother’s white bed cover!. My heart beat dropped to normal!. I went to his body, spitted at his face in anger, then I slowly went back to my mother’s body, she lay there, with a bullet in her heart!. I closed her eye lids, kissed her face, I wasn’t thinking straight, I just did it, picked my gun of the floor, looked at my mother one more time, and put the gun to my head!.
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