Read and review my story?

Question: Read and review my story!?

Well, what I've started!.!.!.and please review (on the site) because you don't have to register!. =]
please!
muchos gracias!!!!
=]
http://www!.fictionpress!.com/s/2556094/1/!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

your writing needs some general editing to make it sound smoother and more fluent!. i think your sentences were too long in some places, and you would be better off breaking them into two parts!.

but writing is mostly revision, after all

good luck!

*celebrindal*

p!.s!. i like your name- is that from avenged sevenfold's unholy confessions!? love that song :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

umm i was 2 lazy to read the whole passage but from waht i read i really liked it! keep it upWww@QuestionHome@Com

I think it was well written!. :]

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