What do you think of my short story? (link)?

Question: What do you think of my short story!? (link)!?

http://www!.writing!.com/main/view_item/it!.!.!.

I'm not sure if you have to have a membership to read it, but please tell me what you think!.

It was in a response to a writing prompt that went something like this:

Write a short story about letting go that involves a factory worker, the setting as a small apartment, and the locket as the key object!.

Thanks for all your critique and suggestions! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I think it could use some tightening and editing (for example, in the first sentence, simply say: "The clock ticks" without "by" to omit needless words), but overall, has good cohesion and sticks to the theme and assignment!. I'd like a little more character development to understand more motivation behind actions!. Overall, pretty interesting!. Well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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