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Question: I need everyone's opinion!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!!?
Please tell me what you think about the opening paragraph to my novel:
I never knew my story would be worth writing down on paper!. I didn’t think I’d ever become what I am today and quite frankly I’m still have a hard time believing it myself!.
Here I am on my birthday sitting in an abortion clinic!. It’s hard to say the word, it’s just so dirty!. ABORTION! It’s firm and angry as if you should feel the need to shout it!. I feel paranoid sitting here in this waiting room like I’m being judged by people doing the same thing!. This must be how if feels to buy porn or to buy those cheesy romance novels you see at the grocery store!. It’s a secret that we intend no one to find out but yet sometimes it’s so obvious!. If so, I hate the feeling!. You might be wondering at this time what pushed me to this point!. I’m not a teenager getting rid of a mistake, I’m 27!. I was married when I conceived the child and in a way I’m still married but not really!. My husband’s dead!. Don’t assume that’s the reason though, I could raise this child by myself if I wanted to!. I make enough money and I have family to support me!. So why am I here!? I really wish I could tell you but the truth is I’m not completely sure myself!. How about I just tell you my story, my whole story!? Then maybe you’ll understand and maybe then you won’t judge what I’m about to do!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Love it =]Www@QuestionHome@Com
that's very good for a start but definitely needs some editing later - a few minor grammatical mistakes, but i think overall it's good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Not bad!. I would make sure to flesh out why she was aborting the link to her now dead husband!. That would be interesting!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It was a little stale for me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Go right on!.
I would like to read it when it comes out!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
very very nice,
i would love to read the book!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
a bit more description to keep it interesting but aside from that it sounds good :)
keep up the writingWww@QuestionHome@Com
Its a good idea, but for me it seems like it starts with something that could end the book, as in wheres the story before he dies, and she goes to the clinic!.!. i understand that thats probably what youll wirte- i hope so- coz thats something that seems really interesting!.!.!. there has to be a conflict though or a turning point!. Why wouldnt she want to keep his unborn child if he only just died!? wouldnt that be what she would live for!? You have to make it so the readers still love her, and understand why shes going through the abortion!.!.!. maybe her husband wasnt good to her, so she irrevocably fell in love with his partner on the war scene- his best friend!.!.!. maybe at the end she ends up keeping the child and marries the best friend>!?!?!?!?!? something like that!?
:) goodluckWww@QuestionHome@Com